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bakugohoex · 4 years ago

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uwu hcs for jean and eren with a s/o who’s bold in giving affection but gets easily flustered when they’re the one receiving it 😗

“now whose the flustered one”

paring: eren yeager x female reader, jean kirschtein x female reader

cw: implies nsfw, kissing, heavy flirting, fluff

word count: 2400+

a/n: sorry for the lack of content, but i hope you guys like this, im trying to get through all the requests before i go on hiatus but hope you like it any comments will really benefit, also i didnt read it properly but its a headcanon sort of, idk sorry im tired

summary: in which giving affection to the boys always leaves them swooning but as soon as they do it to you, you become an entire mess in front of them

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

eren yeager

You had known Eren since day one of the cadet corps, both meeting one night out on the barracks. You had seen him around whilst in the cadet corps, but you talked to Sasha and Connie a lot more than you did him and his two friends who always seemed to follow him around.

But the one encounter late at night had bloomed a friendship where you both became closer than anybody realised. Now two years later, on the brink of graduating and joining the survey corps you and Eren were partnered up to spa with the boy, the consistent teasing and flirting for two years flowing out from your mouth.

“Aww is Eren not able to beat a girl.” You mock going in for a punch, he dodges but cocks his head backwards in a laugh.

Looking at your much shorter frame, he goes in for a punch himself, “I’m capable of beating anyone Y/n, that includes you.”

You’re the one to laugh this time, arching your back to miss the swing of his fists, “maybe you’re going easy because you like me, it’s fine a cute boy like you, I might let you win.”

He blushes but tries to hide it with his fists raised, “like you, I could never.” The back and forth continuous on, everybody in their own worlds except Armin and Mikasa, the latter being annoyed at how you hit him.

“Come on Eren, aren’t you going to try harder.” You tease before you feel him grab your arm and flipping you to the ground, he stood on top of you his feet planted beside your waist.

An idea popped into your head as you quickly grab his arm dragging him down on top of you, you heard Mikasa shout his name but you both ignored it. His body on top of yours, you smirk feeling his hands on the sides of your body. He encased your body in his own and you leant up to meet his ear.

“Baby if you wanted to get me in this position, all you had to do was ask.” You kiss the side of jaw the blush on his face evident. Mikasa and Armin had come up to you both, confusion at how you both just stayed there.

The flirtations had been a common occurrence, you weren’t just naturally flirty with everybody you happened to have a soft spot for the boy and maybe a teensy crush. And the only way for you to let it out was through teasing and flirting which he seemed to enjoy a lot.

“Eren are you okay? Did she hurt you?” Mikasa speaks worriedly grabbing the top of his shirt to get him up, his cheeks visible to everybody.

You laugh getting up yourself, “Mikasa I’d never hurt the pretty little thing.” His eyes flash, widening at how easily you can flirt and tease at him, evidently a rush had gone somewhere else with how he grabbed his jacket from the floor covering his lap.

“Eren you shouldn’t put dirty things on your clothes.” Mikasa spoke about to grab it.

“I’m fine.” Eren muttered back, he watched as you walk a way a grin on your face at how at ease you were.

It wasn’t till after you all got back to the barracks that he could sort the downstairs problem and all he could imagine was you. A happier grin on his face he joined everybody for dinner, the bread being stale and the food being grim to say the least but the first thing he notices was how you, Jean, Marco, Connie and Sasha were on the table with Armin and Mikasa.

He shrugged it off grabbing the food and going to the table, “where were you?” Mikasa questions ready to give her his seat, but he instead sits beside you. You hadn’t noticed him listening to Sasha about food and hunting a smile on your face.

“I had to sort something out.” You nearly jump out of your seat at the sound of his voice a laugh echoing through your ears at how close you both were. His arms touching your own.

“Sort something out yeh.” You muttered lowly, it was barely audible but Eren heard and as much as he loved the flirting, he needed to give you a bit of your own medicine.

He moved his face towards your ear, his hot breath fanning your ear. “You created a problem for me, so I had to sort it somehow…” his voice becoming even more quieter, “how about next time you help me yourself?”

You had watched the boy grow, watched everything for two years and now at the sound of him knowingly flirting back, knowingly acknowledging something was there. You heart fluttered and a heavy red scattered across your cheeks, you felt warm and in heaven.

He moved his head ready to start a normal conversation with everybody else, nobody having paid attention except Mikasa who always kept an eye on the boy. For her sake, you hoped she didn’t like him because you knew you were not letting him go. “Now whose the flustered one.” It was audible enough and your head spun out how he knowingly knew that you were blushing at his comment.

You could barely speak; he expected a response but was instead brought with your wide eyes and flabbergasted face. “i…i…”

No words came out and with Jean on the other side of you trying to gain your attention you stayed frozen. “Did someone break Y/n?” Jean mutters, Marco laughing at how dumbfounded you were.

“I…I’m fine.” You seethe out trying to cover your face with your hair, “I need some air.”

You weren’t trying to get away, but you felt embarrassed, they had known you for two years as a major flirt even more than Ymir was to Historia but the way you had easily got flustered over a proposition. It was humiliating to say the least.

You rushed out, moving past the people. You had been holding in a breath that you quickly let out, the warm air hitting your skin, you leant against the building, looking up at the stars before you heard a cough beside you.

You turn and see Eren, the boy looking down before meeting your gaze. “I shouldn’t have said that and I’m so…”

Interrupting him, you began to speak yourself, “you don’t need to apologise, I just didn’t expect it I thought you didn’t know of my feelings towards you.”

He smiles coming closer to you, he brings his hand to your jaw making you look up at him, your back pressed against the wall. His other arm against the wall trapping your head, “Y/n you’ve been flirting with me for two years you really think I’m that unaware of anything.”

You tried to turn your head away, but his grip made you face him, “I thought your only focus was killing all the titans, or you liked someone else and were trying to let me down easily.”

“I’m not a dick to lead a girl on for two years Y/n, I needed to get over some stuff and then everything happened, and we’ve nearly finished this whole thing and I realised in a couple days we’ll be in the survey corps and fighting titans and I might not have another chance to say this. But I love you.”

The last three words were a whisper, but it was all you needed for you to grab his hair pulling his face closer to yours. He closed the gap in an instant, his hand removing off your jaw and onto your waist, it was a sweet kiss, filled with love and lust. His tongue licking your bottom lip for access, which you allowed, soft moans came from you both. Hoping nobody would see but that was the last thing on Eren’s mind as he relished in the way your tongues moved together. It was as if you were both made to fit into each other. It was a needed kiss and the turmoil the would come made it even sweeter.

jean kirschtein

The survey corps was the worst place to ever flirt ever. You and Jean had only just finished training and you were both thrown into the deep end with the first scouting mission, of course you and Jean had unhidden feelings, but it was always just flirting. Heavy flirting especially from you but just flirting.

The female titan being uncovered made everything become even more chaotic and finally when you both had gotten some sort of peace in where the main base of the survey corps were. You were spending it with your friend hoping no more disorder would come.

You sat at dinner, chewing at the bread as you leaned against Jean. He would often let you lean against him just to know that you were there, and to everybody you acted like a couple but you both knew that neither of you had admitted any feelings. You talked between yourself as the others had left themselves before it was just the two of you. They knew that once you two were deep in conversation nobody was every going to break past the two of you. Which was evident as you realised everybody had left.

“Where did everyone go?” You gestured to the empty dining area.

Jean looked around, you both had been in your own world, talking about everything you two possibly could, “they must’ve left.” He shrugs grabbing the glass of empty water. “You drank my water.”

“I was thirsty.” You try and gain sympathy, but he rolls his eyes at you.

He drops the glass looking at you again, “I wish I spat in it.”

“Gross but if you’re into that.”

“You’re terrible Y/n, I hope you know that” He mutters shaking his head, you had still been leaning against him but as you stretched, he knew what was coming.

“Come on pretty boy, let’s go on a walk.” You gesture about to stand up.

“Pretty boy, really.” He mutters but you could sense he had a thrill from hearing the words.

You pout standing up and putting your hand out, “would you rather me call you horse face?”

The nickname Eren had given him a plague on your tongue, he whipped his head to face you. Taking his hand in yours, he was a lot taller than you, but you liked the height different, it made you feel safe. “If you call me that I’m never talking to you ever again.”

You laugh at the boy before speaking, “I don’t need you to talk, just little moans will do it for me.”

He always admired your boldness, both your feelings there but never told to each other. It wasn’t like you two had even kissed yet and this had been going on for two years now. Of course your flirting always left him a mess, many nights along in his room thinking of you. Sometimes you came too close to him your breath on his neck, or it was how in your normal clothes you left a couple buttons shown to see your visible chest. Or even better how you said bold words that to anyone would only be reserved for a couple.

He knew how outspoken you were but you both had just not gone down to talking about your feelings. He himself never went to the extent you did but he loved watching you flirt with him and even make him jealous occasional by touching Eren’s arm.

He knew if in a relationship, you doing that would make him fuck you in an instant but right now he couldn’t do shit. He could only watch you flirt with him, you both had arrived outside, the breath of fresh air hitting you both.

You saw some of your friends, seeing Connie try and fight Sasha for some meat presumably. You dragged Jean the other way, wanting him all to yourself. “You’re awfully quiet, what happened am I too pretty that you’ve gone quiet?” You giggle pulling him along the narrow alleyway, he admired how you occasionally looked around to make sure he was still following even though you were the one holding his hand.

Finally getting into the open area, you sat on one of the steps waiting for him to join, you undid a few buttons. His eyes fixated on your hand movement, “I don’t bite you know, unless you’re into that.”

A blush creeped onto his face, he shut his eyes to surpress it but to no avail he became a mess under your words. He sat beside you quietly, trying to think of what to say before an idea popped into his head, “a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be spending so much alone time with me, I might ruin you.”

“Ruin away.” You taunted back waiting for a comeback, he smirked facing you your head rested against his shoulder whilst looking up at his face. He was a pretty boy, you could imagine him ruining you, you had been known back in your town as timid and quiet, but it was really because nobody really took an interest in.

But Jean, he was perfect having come up to talk to you and as time went on you grew comfortable enough to stop being timid and be the loud outspoken person you are today. And it was all down to the hot head.

He touched your thigh rubbing is fingers up and down, a friction making you tense up. He had never gotten this close, never done this before but you liked it. “I bet you’ve spent countless nights thinking about me, you enjoy taunting me because it gives you a thrill, but both of us know that when we’re alone you’re just a hot mess…” He paused taking a breath, “just for me.”

You knew he was right, the nights tossing and turning not able to sleep, with thoughts of him touching and kissing you. Your cheeks erupted in a flush on embarrassment. You were the one to get shy this time, he grabbed your face, moving his lips closer to yours whilst speaking, “now whose the flustered one.”

He edged closer and closer before you closed your eyes and kissed him softly, the fireworks that erupted inside of you made you melt under his touch. He guided the kiss with his hand, making sure that you were comfortable but satisfied by it all, it deepened with his hand grabbing your thigh to bring you closer. You could almost feel his own thighs beneath him, his teeth tugging at your lip to gain access for his tongue. You obliged with ease, the movements of both your tongue perfectly balanced with soft moans erupting from your mouth. You felt dazed but enjoyed every second of it, because you had finally gotten the kiss you had dreamt about.

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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RWBY Recaps - Volume 8 “War”

Hello, everyone! Story time.

Yesterday food was delivered for my two idiot dogs (they’re thrilled about it) but, because it was delivered by Fed Ex, shenanigans were bound to ensue. These particular shenanigans involved realizing that the food had not been left at the front door like tracking said it had. Instead, it was down the very long driveway by the mailbox. Specifically, it was on a low wall beside the mailbox, currently inaccessible due to a mound of plowed snow.

Now, how the delivery guy managed to get it there I’ll never know, but given that our postal system is currently killing itself to get us our Amazon orders for Christmas, I shrugged, let it go, and resigned myself to lifting an 18 pound bag plus box over that snow without dying. Which meant that in reality I just dragged it, uncaring what bumps the bag might accumulate along the way. What are the dogs gonna do? Complain about presentation?

Snow successfully circumvented; I was home free!

… until I was lifting the box into the car, hit a patch of black ice, and was suddenly looking up at the sky, my right hip and leg screaming.

I’m fine. Bruised, but fine. It’s 2020. Did I expect to not fall? C’mon, Clyde. Be sensible.

The reason I'm telling you all this is because falling on ice at 10:00pm with an oversized bag of dog food was less painful than watching this episode.

I jest... but only a little. To be fair to RWBY, it admittedly wasn't painful in any new way. Everything that's a problem this week has been a problem for years now: confusing motivations, changing semblances, unpersuasive character beats, etc. So in some ways this episode — especially as a hiatus episode — is rather underwhelming. I expected RWBY to do something big before taking six weeks off, but this episode simply set the (unstable) stage for what's to come. With the exception of Ren, nothing changed this episode, which makes for a rather "Okay..." note to end on. It's not inherently bad, it's just a bit of a letdown after hyping ourselves up over the expectation that something even crazier than grimm soup will happen. Which, to again be fair, is on us as opposed to the writers. But that feeling of, "If this was last week, what in the world will we get right before an unpredicted hiatus?" was palpable. Turns out the answer was, "A pretty tame episode."

As always though, let's start at the beginning. This episode is titled "War" — straight to the point — and it's actually a little shorter than our last three episodes, adding to that "Okay..." feeling overall. We open on the outskirts of Atlas, amidst what appears to be a wheat field, or something similar. Upon reflection, it makes sense that the bubbled city would be able to grow things not normally growable in the tundra. This might also explain Cinder's strange beginning. Perhaps her orphanage existed on these rural outskirts and then she was brought into the city proper? We'll probably never know for sure, but at least this is a simpler answer than, "The Madame went off to an entirely different Kingdom to secure her child slave." Occam's Razor and all that.

Ironwood's army has assembled to hold off Salem's army. Wow, aren't we glad Ironwood invested in thousands of trained professionals rather than a handful of independent fighters? Seriously though, this is now a battle of numbers. May says later in the episode that Ironwood's forces are doing their best to assist Atlas, so they should go help Mantle... but that help only exists because years ago he recognized that the tiny class sizes of the Academies, this

wasn't going to be enough if grimm attacks suddenly increased. Sure enough, now they're in a situation where Ironwood needs even more men to keep up with Salem's creation magic. The fact that he has any at all is crucial to what little hope is left. How do Jaune, Yang, and Ren think they're going to get the time to look for Oscar without everyone dying while they're gone? Because Ironwood's army is keeping the attack at bay. I love how the story keeps angling for the "Military people are evil" message while actively showing us how much a military is needed in this world. If Ironwood had been a generic Good Guy who dismantled his armed forces because others wanted to ignore that they've always been at war against objectively evil creatures — both the grimm and Salem — then there would have been nothing to hold Salem off until small team rescue/bomb plans could be implemented.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. As usual. The army is on the front lines and one guy is scared enough that he's shaking. Can't say I blame him. As always, RWBY functions best when it leans towards horror, with skeletons rising alongside the normal grimm and intense music playing to convey the stakes. Ironwood watches the onslaught and immediately calls for a civilian evacuation into the subway system. Get people below ground, behind a few, defendable entrances, rather than wandering about the city where land or sky grimm can pick them off easy-peasy. Makes sense. Yet I'm already seeing fans make snide comments about how Ironwood is "still running," which just demonstrates how many viewers take the emotions of the show at face value — who is Good and who is Bad — rather than considering the situation and deciding for themselves. What's far more egregious than viewers enjoying a story however they'd like on a Saturday before the holiday though (seriously, my salt aside, no one has to enjoy RWBY any one way) is that RT again tries to paint Ironwood as crazy when he's... just not? Beyond the choice to animate him with scary expressions

once he gives the order the soldier starts to say, "But sir — " and Ironwood yells for him to obey right now. The scene makes it look like Ironwood is doing something shady again. Here's this goon balking at the order, but we're not told why. What's bad about getting the people to (relative) safety? Why is this order treated like something to question at all? We're not told and, from what we do know, it's not something that would be questioned, so unless we learn something new post-hiatus, that line exists only to make Ironwood look bad. It's a (nonsensical) excuse to have another ally turning against him (slightly) and to give Ironwood the chance to look scary and violent again. Nevermind that his city is under attack and if a subordinate started questioning a completely sensible and time-sensitive order? I might yell too.

So we're off to a great start. The above looks particularly stupid given that we immediately see the flying grimm arriving in a populated area, terrifying all the civilians there. Everyone bolts for the subway and we cut away from a man trying desperately to reach his daughter, unsure if either of them survive. But people want Ironwood to not use what few resources he has? See, this is why generic messages like, "You have to stand your ground" don't work. Sometimes there are situations where you should run and that doesn't automatically equal being a coward. It means you're smart enough to take the actions necessary to save as many lives as possible.

Later on we'll have a similar issue with the message, "You have to trust people" when my darling Oscar briefly loses his mind.

Now though, we see that the "fugitives" Yang, Jaune, and Ren have been taken into custody. Of course they have. Look, when the preview dropped yesterday I saw a number of takes along the lines of, "How dare the Ace Ops do this. They need to put aside their differences until the attack is over!" but no, they really don't, because it's no longer their responsibility to extend trust towards this group. Especially when doing so, to their mind, has a high chance of making a horrific situation that much worse. What are they going to do if, in the middle of a Salem attack, the kids they decided to trust betray them, attack them, and leave them knocked out somewhere while the world burns?

...Oh wait, they already did that.

See, the group broke trust first. Numerous times. The Ace Ops listened to Yang admit that she and Blake had betrayed Ironwood days ago. Then they watched Ruby betray him again by alerting the rest of the team, turning them against him. They swore they wouldn't attack, so Team RWBY attacked them first. They learn that Qrow had a hand in murdering their leader. They encounter the group again and Weiss gleefully asks if they want a second defeat. They watch Ruby tell the entire world to dismiss Ironwood because he’s the one who can’t be trusted. Outside of JYR not immediately attacking them when they arrived to help (something I praised them for), this group has never put their trust in the Ace Ops. So why do they — and we — expect the Ace Ops to do so now? Imagine for just a moment that it was reversed. We find out that someone betrayed the group for no good reason, set themselves against them, continued to do so as everything fell apart, told the rest of the world they’re the enemy, and then a close associate is involved in Ruby's murder. How many people would expect the group to just shrug all that off? Would they put their differences aside and embrace these people because blind trust is (supposedly) the right thing to do? Of course not! Yang would punch their lights out and everyone would cheer, but that's because they're the established heroes. Outside of that role, no one else is allowed to mistrust those who have proven themselves untrustworthy and take precautions against getting betrayed again. To say nothing of how these characters don’t have our meta perspective. Meaning, they live in a world where this trio is not a part of a protagonist group destined to remain a part of the plot because that’s how story conventions work. They’re three random teens who were promoted to huntsmen early. They’re three soldiers out of many who can, at any time, be taken out of the fight. No one on the Ace Ops is working under the belief that they “have” to be a part of this fight. From their in-world perspective, you could toss them in jail for the rest of the battle and that’s that. Outside of their fugitive status they are entirely unimportant.

So yes, Jaune, Ren, and Yang are in handcuffs. They deserve to be. Don't worry though, they get out very soon.

Yang makes a snide comment about Winter "Still just following orders" and honestly? I've lost the love I used to have for her as a character. Yang is just an exercise in frustration whenever she speaks now. Thus far she's blamed Ruby for everything that's gone wrong (ignoring her own choices there), did a 180 to yell at Ren for acknowledging how bad things are, worried nonsensically about Blake being disappointed in her even though Ruby is the one she fought with, and is now back to the "You just follow orders" shtick. Yang will label anything she personally doesn't like as evil order following, but conveniently ignores how following Ruby's orders helped get them into this mess, and how the one time she went AWOL made things even worse. These characters don't actually have beliefs they stand behind, they just say whatever is currently necessary to make themselves look good, even if that contradicts previous statements or actions.

She also gets mad at Vine for saying that grimm don't take prisoners, ignoring that she only found this out a few hours ago. No one in the group is equipped to navigate the emotional minefield that is this war because they can't even take two seconds to put themselves in another’s shoes. Weiss doesn't bother to consider Whitley's situation. Jaune points at the snow and gets frustrated that Harriet doesn't magically know there's grimm soup flowing nearby. Yang snaps at Vine for stating what she also knew to be a basic fact about grimm up until Oscar's kidnapping. It's all framed as, "How can you be this stupid?" rather than, "Oh yeah, these people haven't had the experiences I have. If I was randomly told this I'd doubt it too. I should try to explain this in a way that will make sense to them and increase my chances of being believed."

This is the group who decided it was a good idea to tell the whole world about Salem and did it just as badly as I suspected they would. The story has shoved a delicate, information-based war into the hands of punch-happy teenagers and refuses to grapple with how that's a bad thing.

Anyway, Ironwood comes on the radio to say that the whale is pretty indestructible on the outside, but it might be vulnerable from the inside, so let's get a bomb in there. Seems like a good enough plan as any, especially given that the grimm is currently on the very outskirts of the city, away from the civilians if/when it's blown up. What kind of bomb might this be though?

Could it, perhaps, end up being a now severely damaged android who is based off of Pinocchio?

Time will tell. For now, the group is quite obviously upset that Ironwood is planning a big BOOM while Oscar (and Ozpin! Tellingly, no one mentions Ozpin...) is still inside. Here's the thing: Both sides are right here. YJR are right to be worried about their friend, while the Ace Ops — who have no emotional ties to Oscar and, as just established, are questioning whether or not a grimm really kidnapped him — are right that they cannot prioritize a single life over the entirety of Atlas. They just can't! And any hero worth their salt is going to recognize this. You cannot knowingly sacrifice thousands of people (if not more) for one (admittedly awesome) farm boy. It would be a different situation if the people of Atlas volunteered to remain in danger to give Oscar a chance at escape, but that obviously isn't the situation here. If someone told me, "Sorry, Clyde, we can't get you out because the place you're in is super dangerous and attempting to extract you would likely cause the rescue party to die. Also, the longer we don't blow this location up the longer lots of other people die" I'd be like, "Fair enough. Have a nice life!" I mean, obviously anyone would be terrified and devastated by the news, but if you're still thinking straight and have even an ounce of compassion for others, you don't trade all those lives for your own. Spock does not open the door to flood the whole Enterprise with radiation!

And notably, neither does Kirk. Oscar isn't given the chance to sacrifice himself — ignoring his choice to try and undermine Salem's forces rather than escaping — so Jaune, Ren, and Yang are deciding that for him. Which, again, makes sense for them emotionally, but it's still a selfish choice. They're prioritizing their family over everyone else's. If someone ever told me they’d risked a whole city for my sake I’d be touched, but also pissed as hell. Because what were you thinking?

Which is really my biggest issue with this divide. It would have been nice if the show had done more to make me believe these three are that ride and die for Oscar. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that they are and I'll take this characterization over the apathy we had in the past, but let's be real, it kind of came out of nowhere. The group as a whole pretty much ignored Oscar up until the movie invite and two of these characters — Yang and Jaune — have actively hurt him in the name of getting at Ozpin. Now suddenly they're willing to toss aside their huntsmen duties — protect the people — in order to save him? Nice sentiment, it's just that, as always, we have very little development for it, especially given the level of emotion shown. Particularly when it comes to Ren. The prospect of someone sacrificing Nora? I 100% believe that he draws a hard line and this kick-starts a change in his semblance. Ren is shown to be thinking about how he lost his teammate Pyrrha? Totally believe it! Someone is sacrificing the kid I'm not sure he's ever had a conversation with? That's less persuasive. At the very least, it would have been nice to have the trio grapple with whether they can or should prioritize Oscar over everyone else, rather than taking such a black and white stance of, "Of course taking the time to save this one guy while everyone else dies is worth it. You're evil for thinking otherwise."

We even get a shot of Winter's hand shaking and clenching like Yang's used to, just to hammer home who the correct party is.

While they begin this argument we cut to Salem who is literally conducting her grimm in their attack against Atlas.

Very nice. I love when a villain has

Emerald watches her, clearly freaked out, and then sneaks off to where Oscar is held. In the hallway she encounters one of the jellyfish grimm, so she casually makes it not see her until it has passed.

Her semblance works on grimm, but not “real girl” androids? Okay.

We all realize how crazy powerful Emerald is though, right? The stuff that she could do in a fight is staggering and I'll be forever salty that all she managed in the Penny battle was to create a couple different Cinders. Emerald, Marrow, Salem herself... RWBY has a real problem of having the antagonists conveniently not use the power at their disposal when the heroes need to win.

So Emerald starts listening in on Ozpin's torture. We learn that Hazel was recruited when he tried to kill Salem numerous times and had to watch her keep reforming. Which, if I remember correctly, is a technique she used back when she and Ozma were playing at Gods. It worked and now Hazel believes that they "share a vision. She's going to create a new world order," one without Kingdoms or Huntsmen Academies. No, says Ozpin, she's going to divide humanity past reform, summon the Gods, and hopefully die when they take out all of Remnant.

...My god, did we finally get Salem's motivations after seven years?

Seriously though: seven years. It's way too late, especially when we now have so many questions attached to this supposed goal. If Salem always wanted to divide the world irrevocably, why didn't she attack, oh, say, a thousand years ago? Why has she kept to the sidelines until now? None of this answers why she held off until our simple soul was conveniently ready to fight her. We also have the issue of Salem's knowledge, or lack thereof. So she obviously knows about the Relics and that they'll summon the Gods, but not how to work them? How did that come about? Even Ozpin's motivations are murky now. He repeats Salem's curse word-for-word — though notably, minus the "You must learn the importance of life and death. Only then may you rest" part — yet unless Salem told him this herself when they first reunited — and we know they both hid things from the other — Ozpin could have only gotten this line from the lore episode, something he witnessed along with us just a few weeks/months back. So is he only now realizing that this is what Salem wants the Relics for? Might he be wrong? Or did he somehow figure this out lifetimes ago and we're just not told how? If this is the case, why haven’t Salem’s motivations come up before now?

This sudden, "Oh yeah, she's always wanted to die" feels pretty tacked on. Like RT had Salem arrive last Volume because that's ~cool~ and then suddenly realized that they have to deal with her motivations now, so they hastily cobbled this together. But, as said at the start, this is entirely expected for RWBY nowadays. A problem to be sure, though one we've been putting up with for a couple of years now.

During all this, Hazel shouts that this is what Ozpin deserves and the first word out of his mouth is, "Yes."

But Oscar and the rest of Remnant don't deserve it, so make the right choice for them. How did RT think they were going to make this guy an antagonist? Ozpin has so much self-hatred and yet is still trying SO HARD that he makes Ruby Drinking Tea While The World Burns Rose look laughable.

Oh yeah, we'll be getting to that scene in just a second, but for now I just want us all to appreciate Ozpin as a character, even if the story won't.

....

.......

..............

...Okay, moment done lol. Sorry, Oz, there's a lot to cover this episode.

We cut to a semi-conscious Nora who asks Weiss, "Now what am I good for?" So that’s a double serving of oof. That's when Ruby arrives with fine china steaming with tea. Or coffee. Or hot chocolate. Whatever it is these girls are drinking. What comes next is accompanied by a strange kind of vindication for me. I mean, the fandom dragged me so hard for taking issue with their snuggly smiles during Ruby's message, yet now we literally have the girls sitting back in a mansion as everything goes to shit around them. I know the knee jerk reaction to this will be, "They have to watch over Nora" and “They deserve a break” but really? All three of them need to watch her? And a break during the height of the action? Blake says she hopes everyone else is okay, but who is actually out looking for information about the rest of their team? May. Who's going to do something to get Nora help? Whitley. These characters are so good at telling us they're the heroes while rarely ever displaying those traits. They all (somehow) saw the attack on Atlas and have the ability to get out there and defend people — the job they wanted — yet Ruby looks out the window and asks, "What can we even do?" while taking a long sip of tea. The people of Mantle are (supposedly) freezing to death, yet one of the few with aura, Weiss, sits by a roaring fire going, "Do we just wait for someone to come? If they even come.” I'm sorry, you didn't consider this before you told the whole world about Salem? No one questioned whether asking for potentially non-existent help was worth the risk and what they'd do if it never came? Or even just what they’d do in the meantime? I’m not saying the girls can’t have basic necessities like drinks, or that it can’t be done in style when that’s conveniently available. I’m saying them enjoying the food, warmth, and relative safety of the Schnee household (built on racism) while casually talking about what, if anything, they should do for the people dying outside looks a bit Not Good. "Should we wait for the fire department?" Asks the character as their kitchen burns, sitting beside a number of water buckets that could help slow things down. "If they even come," they sigh, taking another sip of tea. This is ridiculous! The city is currently under attack by the series' Big Bad and half our heroes are just sitting around, watching the evil lightning, wondering if they should try to do anything about it.

"How did it all get like this?" Ruby asks her cup, ignoring the many steps she took to make things this bad. It continually boggles my mind that Ironwood is out here trying to keep people safe in the subway, coming up with a plan to blow up this whale, sending out an army to kill countless grimm... yet "What can we even do?" Ruby is supposed to be the hero here. You know, the one who has silver eyes and could one-shot huge numbers of Salem's army if she actually went out there and tried to help.

Ironwood is taking action... and so is May. As said, she's the one out looking for info on their teammates and when she returns says that they should all get back down to Mantle. Why? Because, as mentioned earlier, Atlas at least has an army to help with things. Mantle only has them.

Yet suddenly, Weiss doesn't want to leave.

Where did this come from? They succeeded in their preferred plan of telling the world what's going on over Ren and Yang's plan of helping what people they could, and now they're looking for something to do. Why wouldn't they head back to help? (Especially now that the shields are down.) Weiss yells that there are people dying in Atlas too but, as established, Atlas has the army. And where was this concern when they refused to let Atlas leave? After a Volume and a half of pro-Mantle content, this seems to come out of nowhere. Worse, Weiss tries to guilt May by asking if she has family in Atlas, which leads to the reveal that she's trans. Her family rejected their daughter.

I want to be clear that I'm very happy RT made this canon. For what she is — a side character we know incredibly little about — I really like May and the fact that they were clear in her identity rather than keeping it to twitter deserves recognition. Yet I'm not going to pretend that the reveal didn't leave a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, simply because we have this incredibly privileged cis girl, who knows a great deal about shitty families, hearing how horrible May's was and still trying to tell her she needs to suck it up and help Atlas over Mantle. When May angrily asks whose side she's on, Blake makes a comment about hearing that before, comparing her to Ironwood. May is painted as the misguided one here, but can you imagine if someone told Weiss to go help Jacques over her found family, Team RWBY, regardless of what he's done to her? The fandom would explode, and rightly so. There's something to be said for realism here, showing us Weiss and Blake's inability to see where May is coming from... but it doesn't feel like a commentary on that. It feels like another Penny situation: May is put in her place for being inconsiderate, even though this time it's her choosing to help people who are ALSO in danger over the people who represent family she's broken with.

I wanted conflict this Volume and I absolutely got it, but damn if it isn’t badly thought out at times.

Because rather than grappling with these personal motivations, Ruby brushes them aside by yelling, "There are no sides! We want to help everyone."

Does that extend to Ironwood? Ruby's speeches started falling flat when she betrayed Ozpin, attacked Cordovin, betrayed Ironwood, attacked the Ace Ops... This girl does not want to "help everyone." She wants to help those who agree with her.

Yet her rock solid optimism generates the question, “So how exactly do we get out of it?” which, as expected, Ruby has no answer to. The story keeps showing us how bad a leader Ruby has become, yet no one is actively responding to that. They kinda disagree about lying to Ironwood, but still go along with it. Yang kinda criticizes her sister, but that's then lost to general worry as they split (on Ruby's end, anyway). They want to know how she'll lead them next and are seemingly fine when Ruby continually says, "I don't know." At this point I'd be like, "Well... you didn't like May's plan of going back to Mantle, but apparently can't come up with a plan yourself... so I'm going to go with her."

This is the same conflict we had last Volume: Ruby spoke optimistically about saving everyone, yet was unable to come up with a way to do that. Ironwood had a plan that, while horrific, might save a lot of lives. Yet Ruby is presented as the one to back. Now here she is, hours later, still unable to figure out a way to achieve her perfect outcome. Ruby wanting things to be a certain way is not going to make them so and I’m wondering when someone within the group is going to recognize and act on that.

As Ruby fails to answer this crucial question, we pull back to see Whitley listening in at the door.

Cutting back to Ozpin and Oscar, Hazel has listened to all this craziness about Gods, immortality, the destruction of Remnant... and literally goes, "Cool story, bro."

Okay, he says "Nice story" but the emotion is the same. Which I'm really happy about! I mentioned in a recent post that, as far as we know, Hazel hasn't been told anything about the Gods up until now. What Ozpin is telling him sounds like gibberish at worst, incredibly hard to believe craziness at best. Now chuck in Mercury's point that as a tortured prisoner he'll say anything to get free, as well as the fact that this is Ozpin talking to Hazel... and I'm really glad Hazel just ignored his speech (for now at least). It wouldn't make sense otherwise. Granted, this means that the plan literally amounted to, “Let’s info dump a bunch of nonsense-sounding lore on our enemy in the hope that he’ll believe us and betray Salem.” It’s something to try, certainly, and it admittedly is a much better plan than what Oscar is about to cook up.

So since Hazel won't listen to Ozpin, Oscar wants to try instead. Why did you two switch in the first place? It's really obvious that RT is having the characters do weird things in order to stretch out the plot.

Either way, our farm boy is in control again. What new strategy will he try?

"Her name is Jinn."

This is BEYOND stupid. No, none of this "You have to trust people" nonsense. This is not “people,” this is Hazel. There is a Grand Canyon's width of difference between learning to trust your allies and blindly trusting an active villain who just rejected your "Please defect :(" speech. Even if we remove Hazel from the equation, this is still a monumentally foolish move. I mean, has Oscar considered where he is? This isn't some random warehouse he's been taken to, this is a semi-sentient grimm, a creature creating other creatures out of its ceiling

and whose doors automatically open when people need them to (Mercury). This is a living being created by and connected to Salem herself. How does Oscar know Salem can't hear everything he says? Or that the whale can't relay information to her? That the grimm in the walls won't pop out and run to their master? Or even that a normal person isn't listening in at the door — like Emerald is. If that had been Tyrian instead, that's it. They're done. Game over.

Someone: "Wow. Salem got the Lamp and managed to ask where the Beacon Relic is. Since the school is still overrun by her army, she snatched it up quick, finished destroying Atlas, and is now on her way to Vacuo. She's nearly completed her plan in days! How did all this happen?

Oscar: I, um... told her what she wanted to know?

Someone: You what?

Oscar: But not Salem! I just told Hazel! ... and then the information somehow got back to her.

Someone: "Somehow?" You deliberately told one of Salem's henchmen this crucial piece of information, in a place where there was a good chance you would be overheard by conventional or magical means, and you're surprised that she "somehow" learned it and used that information to doom us all?

Oscar: ...Yes?

This is so staggeringly stupid it... well, it could only have been done by a kid. So at least that fits lol. Oscar, I love you, but Ozpin should have been screaming in horror the second those words left your mouth. Generations of precautions undone because a kid wants to believe the best of the guy currently pummeling him. Sweet, but stupid. I’m all for optimistic characters, they just can’t risk the whole world on that optimism. Oscar risking himself on the seemingly doomed plan to turn Hazel is one thing, Oscar risking all of Remnant on the seemingly doomed plan to turn Hazel is another thing entirely.

Even though you know this is precisely how the story will go. Oscar willingly hands over Jinn's name to Salem's forces, but happily none of the THREE who hear about it will tell her. The story's unwillingness to follow through on consequences doesn't change what a bad move this was. I mean, Oscar himself accused Ironwood of playing into Salem's hands by disagreeing with them about how to not die, yet a few hours later he will willingly give Hazel the one piece of information Salem needs to move closer to world-wide destruction? That's uh... well, that's something.

They should have just had the poor boy be tortured, spill the beans to make it stop, and start an arc of self-forgiveness. Oscar can be awesome without coming up with world-dooming plans.

So yeah, Oscar is hoping that Hazel will use the Lamp himself and find out the truth. He wants Hazel to trust him and the man he despises most in the world enough to go against the immortal woman he's terrified of, get the Lamp away from her somehow to use for himself, wasting a once in a generation question to confirm all this, so that Salem will lose a guy with muscle who, to be frank, is absolute insignificant in the grand scheme of her power. Fantastic.

As said, Emerald overhears all this and immediately runs to Mercury, who is less than convinced by her "Salem wants to destroy the world" talk. Just as he's expressing doubt, Tyrian appears to confirm that this is exactly what she wants to do — and he's loving it.

“Of course she is! You’re surprised? Salem is destruction incarnate!”

It's a legit point. Are our villains so dense they never considered that Salem might do something to the world they didn't like? It's like the group not thinking about how Salem is still around if Ozpin has been fighting her for a thousand years. RWBY continually gives the impression that these characters don't think about their situation past what they're doing at any given moment.

Tyrian maintains his title as best villain though, simply because I understand what he's doing, why he's doing it, and he's so damn good at it.

Also, can we appreciate Mercury's face here?

Amazing. This is the kind of humor we should be getting in such a tragedy-laden Volume.

The two of them, Tyrian and Mercury, head off to Vacuo for the Secret Mission, despite Mercury's newfound hesitation. I quite liked these quiet moments between him and Emerald. It has a very "Do what you've gotta do" vibe while showcasing their care for one another, something we haven't seen in a while.

Back with the airship group. YJR are still horrified that Ironwood would blow up Oscar (even though he has no idea Oscar is there), begging the Ace Ops to give them "a chance to try to rescue him first.” Ren goes pretty hard on the "no one is replaceable" bit, which is frustrating not being what he’s saying is inaccurate (it’s not), but because that's not the issue here. The writing has Harriet start yelling about Marrow replacing her old teammate and Winter replacing Clover, but the question is not whether you'll just forget a teammate and move on with someone new, but whether you're willing to sacrifice them for the greater good. That's the stance: Should we sacrifice one life to save thousands? Will you, as a protector of the people, put those people before your own found family? Yet what RT has Harriet say is: Oscar is replaceable. Which obviously makes her come across as an ass. Like the random soldier questioning Ironwood — or making Elm about to punch a defenseless Ren in her anger — it exists solely to show how bad these character are... even as they say pretty persuasive things.

The writing also continues to be confused about whether the Ace Ops are friends or not. Yang certainly didn't think so... up until she asks (rhetorically) whether Marrow would sacrifice himself for Elm, Harriet, and Vine. Since their introduction, the story has loudly insisted that the Ace Ops aren't friends... up until it's revealed ("revealed") that Harriet is actually gutted about Clover. So which is it? Are we supposed to believe that these are cold soldiers who only work together out of duty, or that they're a team who clearly love one another? I'd say that show has shown us the latter, but it doesn't seem to understand what point it's trying to make. Does this look like a soldier who doesn’t care?

It’s especially weird when Ren again makes the claim that this is why they lost to Team RWBY. Because they're not a team.

...So is this why they did such a fantastic job fighting the geist, demonstrating such perfect teamwork that the group was open-mouthed impressed? Is this why they nearly took down a Maiden together? Is this why Ren, while furious at Yang and Jaune, was still able to work seamlessly with them to try and rescue Oscar? Do we think if Yang was suddenly beside Ruby again that the two would fail spectacularly in a fight because they had a minor disagreement?

This is now the third time RT has tried to excuse nerfing the Ace Ops with, "They disagree about things and are thus not friends and thus can't fight well together" — despite all evidence to the contrary — and it's getting really old.

At one point Harriet tells Ren, "I had you pegged as the most level-headed of the bunch, but I guess you’re just as naïve" which, ignoring her then random claim that people are replaceable, is correct. I also pegged Ren as the most level-headed of the bunch considering he was just yelling at Yang for how much damage they've caused, all the mistakes they've made, and that maybe — just maybe — they should have tried harder to work with Ironwood. Yet now here he is, in a position to start that process, and the Ren we got in the snow is simply gone. He's fully Team Yang and Jaune again, facing off against the evil Ace Ops.

I knew this was going to happen, but it's still disappointing. The story gave Ren a great speech to appease those of us frustrated with the direction the story has taken... and now we’re back to ignoring that. Ren was told off for daring to question how great the group is, apparently thought it over in the snow, and is now of the opinion that yes, they are that great. People are going to die because of us? Who cares about that anymore! We will absolutely, single-handedly rescue Oscar and there's no reason why this might be a questionable choice when an entire city is on the line. Again, emotionally understandable (if we buy into the group suddenly loving Oscar this much), but it rings hollow right after making Ren the one person who was willing to look at the big picture.

Good news though: Jaune got the braincell this week! He suggests that they go in to try and rescue Oscar/provide intel, but won't stop the Ace Ops from launching the bomb when necessary.

See, this is heroic. This is what the group should have done during the Mantle conflict: Volunteering to take the personal risk of facing off against Salem while letting Atlas try to escape. Basically, not forcing everyone else to risk their lives for their pipe dream, which is what Ren and Yang want by rejecting the bomb entirely. Jaune recognizes here that they can't prioritize Oscar over an entire city, but also that they may still be able to save him before the bomb is complete and ready to go. So they compromise, with JYR the only ones at risk.

Good job, Jaune!

Winter agrees to this plan with a firm, "I outrank you" to Harriet. People are going to love that.

Oh, but in his anger Ren's semblance suddenly changes. So we're back to the ridiculous.

Truthfully, I like this direction. Granted, I would have liked some buildup to it, especially since this is the second time this Volume that RWBY has dropped a major semblance change on us, but the idea itself is really cool. Ren can now see emotions! Awesome! And I don't mean that sarcastically. I actually think that’s a neat extension of his original semblance.

Too bad the story seems to think he's a mind reader.

Seriously, take a look back at the dialogue. What Ren sees are confetti-like petals floating around a person, their color seeming to determine their emotional state. Red means Harriet is mad, blue is sadness for Marrow, etc. But what Ren ends up saying is a great deal closer to mind reading. Harriet is angry about Clover and is gutted at his loss. Marrow is questioning his place here and wants to leave. These aren't base emotions, they're targeted thoughts and feelings about situations not immediately apparent from the verbal conversation. “In fact, you don’t want to be a part of it at all anymore." How does Ren know that? They just gave him telepathy instead of the cool power with firm limitations that the imagery suggests.

There are also some, uh... iffy implications in all this. For example, Ren allows Yang privacy by not reading her mind emotional state, but has no qualms about reading every one of the Ace Ops’. So privacy is only for the people you care about, huh?

We could also say something about RT perpetuating unfortunate racial stereotypes: the two women of color are pure anger, the marginalized man is pure sadness, the Asian coded character is pure calm... and the white woman set to turn against the others gets a mix of all emotions. AKA, human complexity.

To be clear, I don't think RT is doing this deliberately. Rather, they’re writers who have demonstrated time and time again that they don't have a good handle on depicting the sort of sensitive material that RWBY is infused with, and that extends to the mild, but still unfortunate, implications in scenes like this. Even if we ignore the iffy details — a benefit of the doubt that, at this point, many fans aren’t willing to grant — we're still left with the continuity errors. Visually, we're presented with a woman who is experiencing multiple emotions at once and is, therefore, torn. Yet Ren reads Winter definitively: "I know you [don't want this] either." It's yet another moment that makes me wonder how much communication there is between the writers and the animators, because too often the two seem to be at odds with each other.

As the group prepares to go into the belly of the beast (literally!) we return to Ruby who is, once again, failing to make me believe she's this super compassionate person.

“Wait! What about Qrow and Robyn? Maybe if we get them out of wherever they’re held—”

Please tell me I'm not the only one who took issue with this? Ruby doesn't express an ounce of worry for her uncle, not even when she learns he's been arrested, and the one time she brings him up it's in the context of what he can do for them in this fight? Ruby doesn't grapple with whether to rescue her uncle (personal desire), or get the message to the world (her version of the heroic action) and then realize that, now that her duty is done, she can finally turn to the more selfish act of helping her immediate family. Instead, Ruby seems perfectly happy to let Qrow stay in prison up until she's unsure what to do next and thinks that maybe he has the answer. Heaven forbid Ruby think about rescuing him because she loves him.

Sadly, this Ruby is long gone.

In recent years she's expressed no gratitude for him saving her life, no respect for him as her teacher, demonstrated incredibly little compassion for his own struggles, and outright told him that if he wasn't going to listen to her then he doesn't need to be part of the team. Then he's arrested and she doesn't care until she deems him useful again. Like the fandom wondering where the sisterly bond between Ruby and Yang went, I'm likewise wondering where the bond between Ruby and Qrow went.

May outright rejects this though, yelling that they still don't get it. “This is not a situation where everyone wins!"

She tells the trio they have to choose for once: Are you going to help Mantle, or Atlas?

...which means there's immediately a knock at the door, interrupting the moment where they have to decide.

See, this is just like Ren. The story keeps giving us moments where characters speak absolute truth, dangling the potential for the group to grow from these realizations... only to pull back before it goes anywhere. Ren is once again aligned with Yang and Jaune in their desire to save Oscar. May's demand is interrupted by the plot. If means nothing to give us these moments unless the story acts on them.

It's Klein at the door. Whitley called him to help with Nora because I guess he's a doctor now, as well as a butler? Fine. Let’s run with it. Weiss is super pleased to see him and hugs Whitley for the good deed.

Why so shocked that Whitley would look out for another, Weiss? Could it be because he's had so little reason to be kind when everyone, including you, has treated him horribly? If Klein always had these medical skills — if you’ve grown up with a doctor — why didn’t you talk to your brother and ask if he knew how to contact him? And of course, she apologizes to Klein for her father’s actions, but not to Whitley for her own. Whitley's surprise isn't cute to me.

Weiss stuck a weapon in his face, insulted him, sent him to his room like a toddler... and now is randomly hugging him because he did something she liked. The context of this scene doesn't paint Weiss in a good light. Like the rest of her friends, she only extends basic respect and kindness towards others when they're assisting her. Whitley was nothing to her until he suddenly proved himself useful. That's not cute sibling love, it's a love that's going to run out the moment Whitley puts a toe out of line, according to Weiss' unspoken list of what behavior keeps him in her good graces.

I believe that Klein cares for Whitley because he greets him kindly and gives him that shoulder pat on the way up. Whitley didn't need to first prove himself to Klein somehow and Klein didn't start this interaction by shoving a gun in Whitley's face, just in case he wouldn't let him through the door. They feel more like family than this hug does.

So yeah, Whitley and May have done more good this episode than our entire main cast. How about we just make this story about the side characters instead?

We then hear a massive boom and the group runs out to find a crater. Penny has landed in front of the manor, which is pretty convenient considering we saw her pass out as she fell.

She's somehow still in control despite the hack and apologizes to Ruby, then falls unconscious (again).

And that's where we end! Definitely a cliffhanger, though a rather underwhelming one considering we already knew Penny was in serious trouble. As said at the start, this episode felt rather underwhelming to me, especially as a halfway point before a hiatus, and compared to some of the stuff we've seen previously. It's not bad per-se — especially if we ignore the issues that have been around for an age now, which is most of what this recap deals with — it's just not terribly exciting either. Everything of importance — Salem's attack, Oscar's rescue, Penny's demise, subordinates turning, Nora's condition, etc. — had already been established in previous episodes and very little of it moved forward. Ren's semblance is the only thing the episode gave us that we couldn't have (generically) guessed for ourselves between last Saturday and now.

So yeah, underwhelmed is the mood of the day, with a hefty dose of salt for everything that continues to be a story-breaking problem in this show. I will say though that, as has become the trend for this Volume, all the establishing shots are gorgeous. RWBY is, at the very least, pretty to look at.

As a final note, in lieu of the Bingo board (since, again, not a whole happens plot-wise) I want to point out something mentioned by a friend: how absolutely bonkers our timeline is now. We began the second day last episode with the sun rising (recall that Jaune had tried to sleep that night at the outpost. So it’s definitely sunrise as opposed to sunset).

And we re-confirm that it’s sunrise at the start of this episode.

Yet throughout the episode many of our shots take place at night (note the stars behind the trio).

These moments with Ruby can't take place in the past because they're talking about the attack, an attack that only happened after Jaune's group met up with the Ace Ops and the geyser attacked — during early morning. I doubt I'm supposed to believe that it has been another full day of Salem starting an attack, a full day for the group to fly to the whale, a full day for Penny to fall, a full day which would put us at the end of the Volume’s timeline at only the halfway point... so I think RT is just going for the aesthetic of night shots without thinking about what that does to the continuity. It's a mess.

Not the highest praise to end on, but I’m working with what I’ve got lol. I feel as naïve as Oscar when I say that maybe Part II will be better.

I will, of course, see you all in six weeks. Until then, I'll do my best to catch up on asks. Another doomed endeavor, but one can try!

A very Happy Holidays to all of you who celebrate and, as always, thanks so much for reading! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby recaps #rwby war #mymetas

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maxwell-grant · 4 years ago

Note

Having seen your thoughts on his deeply-unpleasant daddy, might I please ask if you have any thoughts on The Gladiator himself, Hugo Danner? (THE SUPERMAN WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN, if you will).

What would you do if you were the strongest man in the world, the strongest thing in the world, mightier than the machine? He made himself guess answers for that rhetorical query. "I would—I would have won the war. But I did not. I would run the universe single-handed. Literally single-handed. I would scorn the universe and turn it to my own ends. I would be a criminal. I would rip open banks and gut them. I would kill and destroy. I would be a secret, invisible blight. I would set out to stamp crime off the earth; I would be a super-detective, following and summarily punishing every criminal until no one dared to commit a felony. What would I do? What will I do?"

The thing that strikes me about Gladiator is that it almost feels like the book is unfinished. The quality and pace of the book is all over the place, but you can boil it's general story down to "unlucky bastard is born Superman before it's time for Superman to exist, without the necessary support, mindset and structure to become Superman, in a world that neither supports nor accepts the existence Superman, and just as he's about to have the life-changing epiphany that could make him something, he gets struck by lightning and dies in the 2nd-to-last paragraph".

The whole book is like if in the first Spider-Man story Peter Parker just gave up after Uncle Ben died and we never saw him again. It's a superhero/supervillain origin story that gets cut short right as it's about to lead to the birth of the character proper. It's frustrating, yes, but to my scavenger goblin brain that likes to dig through pop culture's trash to find nice forgotten trinkets to polish and make into something new, it also invites a lot of promise, if we get into the question of what could have happened to Hugo Danner if he didn't die on the cusp of his origin story. It's an idea I plan to use for my own pulp writings.

It's not so much whether or not Hugo MIGHT have been Superman, so much as: COULD he be Superman? Maybe, maybe not. I'd argue not, because even with all his power, and even with his parents trying to raise him as best they could, even with Hugo genuinely trying his best to be good and heroic and turn his gifts to mankind, it wasn't gonna pan out. The right pieces weren't there, the family structure wasn't there, the necessary aspects of the origin story weren't there, and ultimately, Hugo Danner wasn't cut for it. He is a failure at everything he tries to be super at.

At college on the football field, he kills a man. As a soldier on the Great War, he slaughters thousands for years, but fails to end the war, despite having been able to do so from the moment he enlisted. He is fired from a steel mill for working too far beyond the abilities of his fellows, and then fired from a bank for freeing a man from a locked safe, because the bank president suspected that Danner planned to use his powers to rob the vault. He tries using his powers to enact social change and fails again and again. He can't even enjoy daily life, because he cannot compete fairly with ordinary people, and because of that he must constantly hold himself in check, never able to fully express himself. And when he's presented with the idea of creating a race of people like him to dominate the world and to “conquer and stamp out all these things to which men of intelligence object,” he finds it ultimately distasteful, because he knows better than to expect good things to come out of his life. And then he curses God and dies. The whole book is one long argument as to why Being Superman Sucks.

He's not the break from tradition that Superman represented, he's a sci-fi superman who met the same tragic ending his predecessors did. In that paragraph above, the very first thing he thinks about, after remarking over his failure to end the war, is thinking about becoming some galactic dictator murdering everyone who steps out of line, before he considers becoming a fascist super-detective. Kind of a damning perspective to present your hero, isn't it? If Gladiator was released today, exactly as is, people would be quick to assume it's an origin story for a Homelander/Plutonian/Omni-Man kind of character. Hugo Danner was a Superman deconstruction before that became a pop culture cliche.

My favorite sections of the book are those that describe Hugo in the war. By far the best-written and most evocative, almost bordering on horror story. And they may be the most damning sections of them all. He never forgives himself for not ending the war when he could, because he's spent all those years killing and toiling away when he was just about the one person who could conceivably leap all the way to Germany and force the war to end. I imagine a lot of pulp heroes who suffered in the war, or any war, and walked out of it with a resolve to protect and do good by others, would be pretty pissed when discovering that, all along, there was this living god among them who actually could have ended the war single-handedly, but was just too damn busy slaughtering his way through fields of people who couldn't possibly fight back, to think about it.

And for all that Hugo says that he hates war and murder and bloodshed, he sure seems like a total natural for it:

Hugo, out of his scarlet fury, had one glimpse of his antagonist's face and person. The glimpse was but a flash. He was a little man—a foot shorter than Hugo. His eyes looked out from under his helmet with a sort of pathetic earnestness. And he was worried, horribly worried, standing there with his rifle lifted and trying to remember the precise technique of what would follow even while he fought back the realization that it was hopeless.

In that split second Hugo felt a human, amazing urge to tell him that it was all right, and that he ought to hold his bayonet a little higher and come forward a bit faster. The image faded back to an enemy. Hugo acted mechanically from the rituals of drill. His own knife flashed. He saw the man's clothes part smoothly from his bowels, where the point had been inserted, up to the gray-green collar. The seam reddened, gushed blood, and a length of intestine slipped out of it.

Hugo stepped over him. He was trembling and nauseated. The bellow of battle returned to Hugo's ears. He pushed back the threatening rifle easily and caught the neck in one hand, crushing it to a wet, sticky handful. So he walked through the trench, a machine that killed quickly and remorselessly

Hugo was learning about war. He thought then that the task which he had set for himself was not altogether to his liking. There should be other and more important things for him to do. He did not like to slaughter individuals. The day passed like a cycle in hell. No change in the personnel except that made by an occasional death. No food. No water. They seemed to be exiled by their countrymen in a pool of fire and famine and destruction.

And then later, after they kill a friend of his

He leaped to the parapet, shaking his fists. "God damn you dirty sons of bitches. I'll make you pay for this. You got him, got him, you bastards! I'll shove your filthy hides down the devil's throat and through his guts". He did not feel the frantic tugging of his fellows. He ran into that bubbling, doom-ridden chaos, waving his arms and shouting maniacal profanities. A dozen times he was knocked down. He bled slowly where fragments had battered him. He crossed over and paused on the German parapet. He was like a being of steel. Barbed wire trailed behind him.

Bayonets rose. Hugo wrenched three knives from their wielders in one wild clutch. His hands went out, snatching and squeezing. That was all. No weapons, no defence. Just—hands. Whatever they caught they crushed flat, and heads fell into those dreadful fingers, sides, legs, arms, bellies. Bayonets slid from his tawny skin, taking his clothes. By and by, except for his shoes, he was naked. His fingers had made a hundred bunches of clotted pulp and then a thousand as he walked swiftly forward in that trench. Ahead of him was a file of green; behind, a clogged row of writhing men. Scarcely did the occupants of each new traverse see him before they were smitten. The wounds he inflicted were monstrous. On he walked, his voice now stilled, his breath sucking and whistling through his teeth, his hands flailing and pinching and spurting red with every contact. No more formidable engine of desolation had been seen by man, no more titanic fury, no swifter and surer death. For thirty minutes he raged through that line. The men thinned. He had crossed the attacking front.

A man dipped in scarlet, nude, dripping, panting. Slowly in that hiatus he wheeled. His lungs thundered to the French. "Come on, you black bastards. I've killed them all. Come on. We'll send them down to hell."

And years later, when he's thinking back to the misery that had been his life:

His deeds frightened men or made them jealous. When he conceived a fine thing, the masses, individually or collectively, transformed it into something cheap. His fort in the forest had been branded a hoax. His effort to send himself through college and to rescue Charlotte from an unpleasant life had ended in vulgar comedy. Even that had been her triumph, her hour, and an incongruous strain of greatness had filtered through her personality rather than his. Now his years in the war were reduced to no grandeur, to a mere outlet for his savage instinct to destroy. After such a life, he reflected, he could no longer visualize himself engaged in any search for a comprehension of real values.

If he could but have ended the war single-handed, it might have been different. But he was not great enough for that. He had been a thousand men, perhaps ten thousand, but he could not be millions. He could not wrap his arms around a continent and squeeze it into submission. There were too many people, and they were too stupid to do more than fear him and hate him. Sitting there, he realized that his naïve faith in himself and the universe had foundered. The war was only another war that future generations would find romantic to contemplate and dull to study. He was only a species of genius who had missed his mark by a cosmic margin.

Even when he's thinking about the places where he went wrong, that he blames himself for, even when's engaged in introspection, his thoughts still gravitate towards violence and hatred, of squeezing continents into submission and of how much the masses are stupid to not appreciate him (because really, all Hugo wants is to be loved and appreciated for what he is), and how unlucky he was to miss his mark.

There's just no place for Hugo Danner. Maybe it was actually rather merciful that he got to have his misery ended briefly by lightning strikes, before he could either turn into something worse, or have his life ruined more throughly.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #gladiator #hugo danner #superman

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colemacgrathtkz · 4 years ago

Text

Play along?

Previously. Next?

Disclaimer: Another long one and fair warning on this.

"This is much more gushy than your last book"- Piniet

Lilith: "I do not appreciate being bait for you two."

Shortly after Luz's recent visit to the Owl house, two schemers made contact.

Willow: "You're a pretty obvious target. If she's too far gone, you'd be the first to know."

Gus: "Besides, we were watching... from a safe distance. If she tried anything..."

Lilith: "Enough! Just take your ingredient and go."

The Clawthorne sister handed the brown bottle Luz drank from.

Gus(grossed out): "Score one for back wash."

Willow: "Thanks again for your help. We want to believe Luz is back. But just in case..."

Lilith: "I'll inform my sister of tonight. So, if you two don't mind?"

Taking their cue to leave, the young duo set off. Gus would take their "prize" while Willow got Amity ready for the next ruse.

[A few nights later, in the woods]

Tonight, the first official date for Amity and Luz.

Noceda was still insistent on meeting with everyone. But there was one request that kept popping up since day one.

Luz had been pestering her girlfriend about a date for a while. The Blight girl had been putting it off. Until the lass discovered Luz's new masked alter ego. The all powerful witch was still feared around town. But with a disguise, she preformed illusion plays. Most notably, Lumity's biggest hits. Some children would run up to the New Coven leader after seeing one of the shows.

Not wanting to be embarrassed again, Amity agreed to the date, in exchange for canceling Lumity theater shows.

Now, dressed in casual wear, she waited what her date had planned.

Amity: "I can't believe I'm doing this."

A purple haze creeped around her. Knowing full well what this was, she called out to her theatrical partner.

Amity: "A young girl, all alone in woods, with purple smoke floating around. Someone's pretty confident?"

Her date emerged from the clearing.

Luz: "I like to make an impression."

Expecting to see her in a "Good witch Azura" outfit, this was different.

Luz stood in something close to her old grom outfit. But the tutu skirt was replaced by top hat.

Luz: "Now, if you'll just let me take the lead?"

Amity took her escort by the arm. Walking together, she couldn't help but notice Luz's constantly twirling finger.

Amity: "Should I be worried? I was expecting..."

Luz: "The good witch, Luzura? Too obvious. Figured 'Amity in wonderland' was the way to go."

Her date didn't get it.

Luz: "I'll show it to you someday."

Coming to a halt, a vine picked them up and set them on a branch.

Luz: "See down there? That's where I first saw you. Witch drama with a hint of foreshadowing."

Luz created illusions to recreate the memory for them. While the show carried on, she leaned closer to her lady friend.

Luz: " Look at us! Top student and her new favorite abomination, sitting in a tree. The stories people could write about us!"

Amity brought her hand up, blocking Luz's advance. Playfully pushing her off, she knew Luz wouldn't get hurt on the way down.

Luz(overly dramatic): "Ah yes, how tragic. These two wouldn't know how they felt until it was possibly too late."

Summoning a abomination creature (much like the one that beat Grometheus), the two were swept away on to the next stage. The forest appearing to clearly be distorted. The land and trees twisting into a single path.

Luz(smirking): "But what if things were different?"

And just like that, Hexside stood before them.

Luz: "What do you say? A do over?"

Before she could answer, her date ran inside.

Amity( under her breath): "I'm pretty sure they locked this up for the night."

Stepping in, the flares lit the way. She heard Luz's echoes; narrating from somewhere. Just a single door seemed to be around throughout the entire hallway.

Luz's voice: "Just another day at a magic school, nothing out of the ordinary."

The green haired girl cautiously entered. Inside, she saw her date in two corners. One tucked behind a curtain and the other sitting at a desk.

Real Luz: "Pay no attention to the cool fox behind the curtain."

The other sat staring out the window. But her hair was shorter, like it was originally. She also wore a purple and white sailor uniform. Luz was an anime fan, after all.

Amity, once again not getting the reference, stood back and watched.

Another Luz walked onto the scene. This had her hair slicked back and wore a darker uniform.

Bully Luz: "Hey, Luuzer, stopping mucking up the place and get lost already!"

Real Luz: "What's this? This cute as an otter school girl is getting bullied. Will anyone stand by her against this juvenile foe? Preferably before I run out of things outta this thesaurus?"

Taking her cue, it made sense Luz would set this up. A redemption for a former bully.

This was still weird, though. The false punk faced the intervenor.

Bully Luz: "What?! Got something to say, little miss... sorry. I can't do this, even if we are just pretending. You can see where I'm going with this, right?"

Nodding, Amity used an abomination arm to punch the "bully" right in the gut. She poofed on impact, attracting the other one's attention.

Student Luz: "Well, who are you, my sassy savior?"

Amity: "Luz, maybe this isn't such a good idea?"

Bolting from the curtain, her date seemed startled by the question.

Real Luz: "Ok, so maybe I shouldn't have gone anime on you. I thought for sure high school magical girl was a safe bet.

Fear not, I have a back up plan!"

A ball of fire hovered outside the window. Luz picked her date up and tossed her out. Amity slid down what appeared to be a slide made of ice. A little shaken, she almost didn't notice her wardrobe change. Her grudgby uniform, in all its glory.

Luz stood by her, showcasing hers as well.

Luz: "Behold! Powered by nothing but their bond, two partners face off against painful dilemma."

Amity sighed at two abominations who looked suspiciously like her siblings.

Amity: "Why abominations this time?"

Luz(winking and nudging): "We can have more fun this way. Grudgby is about getting down and dirty, right?

Besides, we both know you like this. Just us up against Edric and Emira. Ready to blow off some steam?

Amity(trying to hide a smile): "You need three for grudgby."

Luz: "It's a personal match. Stop sweating the small stuff and take down your brother and sister."

For the next ten minutes, things went pretty well. Amity even called for a rematch.

But things died down after a half hour. True to form, Luz brought them to a new setting. Clearly not wanting the fun to end, new attire came with it.

Both wore what appeared to be a blend of knight armor and witch robes.

The giant Otabin mutant was poised before them, in a burning library.

Luz: "Well, what do you say us fearless champions defeat this... monstrosity?! Come, it's the only way to return it to it's original form."

Amity: "Ok, that's enough."

Raising two abomination arms, she handed this date a hiatus.

Both Otabin and Luz were held for a chat.

Amity: "You've been getting pretty good at making illusions."

Luz: "It's important to keep up with shows. You know, for the kids."

Amity: "You know, I get it. The themes and trips down memory lane. You have no idea what you're doing."

Luz blushed after realizing she'd been caught.

Luz: "I didn't date much before I came here. Even after I 'left', experience wasn't happening. So, this is my first ever date."

Amity: "Our first ever date! Now, let me lead!"

Releasing her girlfriend, Amity walked over with a new suggestion. Or rather, an old one.

Amity(reaching out): "Well then, if that's settled, may I have this dance?"

Grinning from the nostalgia, the two joined hands and grabbed shoulders.

Luz set her phone down and started a playlist. And with that, they lost track of time.

However, it became obvious that something had been on their minds.

Amity: "Listen, I know things have been hard for you. We-I haven't exactly made it easy. But I'm just afraid. I wanted you back for so long. When you came back, I didn't see you. I was too scared of the monster you used to be. So afraid... I thought about using these."

The young Blight lady pulled out memory tweezers from her pocket.

Amity: "I just had to know. Where is it? What are you hiding? Who are you really?

Well, now I know. You're still that weird human girl who cares alot. Which is why I can't call you my girlfriend until I ask. Luz Noceda, will you be my... mine?"

Embarrassment caused her to mess up the ending. Luz blinked for a couple of seconds. She couldn't help but let out a short laugh. Amity's face was red enough. She quickly tried to explain herself.

Luz: "Querida, I've been yours for a while now. But yes, just to make it official. And since we're sharing, there's something I want to ask you.

I love being back and having magic at my fingertips. But I want to see my mom again. I meant what I said. I came back to ask for help in that department. Since magic, witches, and demons isn't really a... credible story, where I'm from. I need you guys to come with me.

So, what I'm asking you is... do you want to meet my mama?"

Amity's fearless champion was nervous about a "meet the parents" scenario.

Amity: "After tonight, you might want to teach me a crash course on your life back home?

I mean, yes, I'll do what I can to make that happen."

Filled with joy, once again, Amity became caught in a famous Noceda hug. But this time was different. Just as Luz began to pull away, Amity surprised her with a kiss.

Dumbfounded, Luz just stared at her.

Amity was on the verge from being happy to worried.

Amity: "What?"

Luz: "It's just I'm usually the one who..."

Giggling amongst themselves, they couldn't help but remember the books they used to read.

Amity: "Yeah, well, take a look around."

No longer standing in a library of ash and kindling, they were standing at the center of Hexside's gymnasium. The very spot where they both originally were supposed to face Grom.

Luz's illusions had faded without her even realizing it.

Luz: "I guess, show's over?"

Amity: "Not yet."

Whispering in instructions, Amity finally made Luz blush( on purpose).

Illusion magic changed their appearance to that of their first grom night.

Amity: "One more dance."

This time, Luz's hands went to Amity's waist. Meanwhile, Blight arms rested on her shoulders.

Luz: "I think I want to tell you where the staff is."

Bonus:

Willow and Gus anxiously waited in the manor.

Willow knew, Amity was the only one Luz would give her undivided attention to. They used the date for some much needed time to complete their mission.

Now, they needed to report what they learned to the girl at the dead center of all of this.

The door opened and a certain green haired witch walked in, with delight.

Gus: "Where have you been?!"

Amity: "On my date with Luz. And the real question is, what are you two doing waiting in my house for?"

Willow: "Your family let us in before they stepped out."

Amity: "They left? You two? By yourselves? In a manor?"

Gus: "Your parents warned us not to touch anything. Then your brother and sister told us to take something. Honestly, those are some mixed messages.

Now, can you please just listen to what we've got. You really need to know what Luz's up to."

Willow: "Wait, what's our code word?"

Gus maybe the illusionist of the trio. But Willow was picking up on some suspicious vibes.

Amity: "I can't really remember that, right now."

At that moment, Willow caused every plant in the manor to whip towards Amity.

Willow: "There wasn't one."

Dodging plant creatures and Gus clones, the illusion came apart.

Luz stood before them.

Luz: "Well, I wanted to see you guys, again. How have things been?

...

What have I been up to, hmm? Just what were you going to tell Amity?"

That familiar glow appeared, causing her dear friends to gulp at the sight.

Luz: "Come on, guys, it's me. I'm not going to hurt you. I want us to be friends, like we used to be. You can trust me on that."

Not buying that, they managed to corner her. She was holding back, not even striking back once.

Luz: "Willow? Gus? Come on, I thought we were still friends?"

Right then, they went for their shots. But as the blows landed, she disappeared in a blue puff.

Luz: "Now I gotta know."

Before they had a second, a sleep spell was cast from behind.

The duo was unconscious before the real empress. Who just so happened to pull out a pair of memory tweezers from her pocket.

Empress Luz: "What have you two been up to?"

#Broken! Luz AU #lumity #the owl house #amity blight #luz noceda #lilth clawthorne #lilth #willow park #willow #agustus porter #Gus #toh #amityxluz #luz x amity #story I pieced together

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kassofchaos · 3 years ago

Text

Getting the Facts Straight

So, after what seems to have been a super long hiatus, I'm back with another chapter of the fic! Hope the wait wasn't unbearable, ya'll.

The Batcave. Perhaps it’s a childish name for a 31-year old billionaire to adopt for his alter-ego’s base of operations and armory, but there’s no denying it sounds cool. To the younger, more impressionable guest, the moniker certainly succeeds in its wow factor, not to mention the awe of finding himself there.

Batman doesn’t have many guests down here. It’s usually just him and Alfred, maybe the occasional criminal; but never someone like Ben. “Why do you have a dinosaur up here?” Speak of the devil.

Batman turns to face his guest, looking to see the green-vested lad standing next to one of the giant cave’s many attractions: a life-size model of a Tyrannosaur. Granted, a very old depiction.

“I came across it during an old mission. Decided to keep it.” He responds. Easy, succinct.

“It isn’t even accurate, how old is this thing?”

“I don’t know. These things don’t come with information plaques.”

A silence wafts over them both. Even for just that second, the silence is palpable.

“Man, hate that.” Ben responds. “I get that it’s just more work, but I can’t ever see something like this as finished without a plaque like that, y’know?”

Another pause, this one slightly longer than the last. Batman sighs; so this is the kind of person he’s let in. Could be worse.

“We can mess around with my decorations later. Tell me about the watch.”

“What, this old thing? Had it since I was ten.”

“And how long ago was that?”

“By now? Eeehh, twelve, maybe thirteen years? I got it late into my tenth, so I can’t know for certain. I don’t just have the exact date on me, right-”

“Explain what it does.” Batman’s order cuts through Ben’s rant before it could even begin. Ben gulps; he’s really dealing with THE BATMAN here.

“Well…” He lets out a half-hearted chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “Where do you want me to start?”

“You know where I want you to start.”

Ben takes a step back, looking away for just a second, shrinking at even the slightest hint of intimidation.

“Well… this-” He puts up his left arm, letting the light of the Batcave fall upon the device attached to his wrist, its green-and-black dial gleaming with the bright. “-is the Omnitrix. I don’t know everything about it myself, either, but I know how to use it, and I’ve been able to clue together some information on it after so long.”

Batman listens on, a notepad in his hands, ready to jot down anything important.

“From what I’ve gathered, this is alien technology. Within it are the samples of ten different alien species. I can choose which one I want to transform into by-” To demonstrate, he taps a small button on the device’s side facing him, watching the dial rise just slightly, projecting a holographic black silhouette of a four-armed humanoid. Ben grabs onto the dial’s side and turns it left, watching as the silhouette is replaced with another, this one of a shorter creature resembling a crab. “-turning the dial. When I press it down, then.. I suspect you can guess from there.”

“Only ten?” Batman asks amidst note-taking.

“Ten.” Ben nods. “An arsenal that compliments itself well. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not, but the choice of aliens on the watch feels planned, for lack of a better word. Intelligently designed, in a sense.”

“Lead me through each one.”

“I don’t know that I want to .” Ben finally interjects. “Sorry if that’s rude, sir, but… I’m not just going to tell you all of my strengths and weaknesses.”

Batman smiles. “There it is.” Batman waves Ben forward, leading him further. Down a set of stairs, to face a ginormous onslaught of computer monitors of varying sizes, all heralding a lengthy desk and a couple of simple revolving chairs. “I think I know why you’re here.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

Batman nods, turning to type up on the keyboard, facing the smallest monitor screen just above said keyboard as if it were a simple laptop or home computer. After a few clicks, a picture comes up on one of the largest monitors; the scowling visage of a bitter, scarred, and somewhat wrinkled face, adorned with wide red goggles and cybernetics around the sides of his face.

“You’ve come here for him.”

Ben looks up at the display, not needing any more than a second to recognize that face. He nods. “Dr. Aloysius James. Insists on the name ‘Dr. Animo’. Sounds tacky.”

“This coming from ‘Ben Ten’.” “This coming from ‘The Batman’?”

A pause wafts over the room, broken only by the sounds of keyboard keys being pressed rapidly.

“Fair point.” Batman turns Ben’s attention out to another screen. Several dates from the last three months all laid out uniform on the monitor. “There are the days Dr. Animo has been seen publicly for the last three months. Anywhere from Bellwood to DC, even all the way down in Texas or Kansas. Most recently, he’s converged here.”

Ben nods. “That’s part of why I’m here. I heard Animo was coming by to visit. He and I have something to settle.” Ben narrows his eyes, taking a look at each date. September 7th, September 17th, October 7th, and so on. The consistency drags on. “All dates ending on a 7.”

“The question is… why.”

“Why? Dr. Animo’s often like this… kinda weird around numbers.” “This isn’t just Dr. Animo, Ben.” Batman reassures him, and another monitor lights up with even more dates. September 3rd, September 9th, September 15th, on and on.

“These ones are divisible by three.” Ben confirms.

Batman nods. “These are all dates pertaining to an enemy of mine, Bane. Once again, from various cities all over the United States. I’m positive these have a connection, and I have a name to go off of, but…” That’s when the caped crusader hears the slam of a button and a flash of green light envelops Ben. He turns around quickly to make sense of the commotion, only to behold an entirely new figure having taken Ben’s place: an orange, crab-like thing easily standing above three feet tall, and with a massive head to take up most of that height.

The creature waves one of his pincers, using its other to point to the belt it was wearing right underneath its head; the dial of ben’s omnitrix on full display at the front of the iron strap. “Worry not.” He speaks in a slightly deeper, trilling voice with the hint of a british stiff-upper-lip. “I thought I’d swap over to another more… intellectually gifted form.”

“What do you call this one?” Batman asks rhetorically, not expecting the crab to answer with “Brainstorm, actually”. Upon hearing that, he lets out a sigh and returns his focus to the information at hand.

Before he can get another word in, Brainstorm interrupts.

“Mayhaps it is worth noting every date of Dr. Animo’s appearance ends with a 7, with the exception of any days where it is the 27th. Divisible by three, just like every appearance attributed to your ‘Bane’ figure.”

“Right.” Batman nods, then looks to all of Bane’s dates for a similar pattern. September 6th, missing entirely. September 12th, the very same. “Not a single even number on this list. Divisible by 2.”

“A hint to another cohort in this scheme?” Brainstorm adds. “Or perhaps we’ve fallen into a purposely set rabbithole? This could all be an elaborate ruse; a red herring, if you will.”

“Even if it is-” Batman quickly asserts, “-I can’t ignore the fact that it might not be. If this is intentional, we’re step further into finding the reason behind all this.

“Does that reason mayhaps include that thing that attacked us on the street?” Brainstorm’s thoughts flicker back to just a few hours ago, having been assaulted by that large, somewhat mechanical purple beast. An alien? Mayhaps.

“I don’t know. He seemed more intent on your watch than anything else… still, we can’t strike the idea.”

“Today is the 16th of December. If the pattern holds true-” Brainstorm adds, “-and if Dr. Animo truly is in Gotham, we will see him tomorrow. We best be prepared for such.” Brainstorm gives the dial on his belt a firm press, and with the same flash of green light, Ben returns to normal.

“If you want me to rest here, I will. I don’t mind sleeping on couches. Point is, we should be prepared.”

“Indeed. We should.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #ben 10 #batman

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et-lesailes · 5 years ago

Text

puppy play

pairing: chris evans x reader

themes: puppy snugs, chris snugs, just all the fluff

word count: 1550

summary: you and your husband chris appear on buzzfeed’s famous “playing with puppies” interview, ready to surprise the fans with bigger news than anyone was expecting.

taglist: @viarogers, @evanstush, @chibi-crazy, @chalamet-evans, @world-of-losers,@songforhema @sebabestianstan101 @tanyam93 @b-val1@wonderwinchester@little-miss-exo @poerebel @bitchbabes-world

note: requested by anonymous // hope you enjoy! also just wanted to apologize to everyone that my fics have been so much shorter lately. while i’m traveling, i’ve been writing on my phone which usually ends up in less of a word count as compared to when i use my laptop. but i’m still putting all my effort into making these as good as i can for you all, i promise :))

** please send an ask if you would like to be added to my taglist of any chris evans related fics!

You smiled brightly at the camera waving as the BuzzFeed interviewer introduced you and your husband as the two of you sat on the floor; though of course, she did not actually introduce you two as that, considering the general public had no idea. As far as everyone was concerned, you and Chris had been dating for years and engaged for around six months, but you had still managed to keep it a secret that the two of you had gone ahead and had an incredibly private ceremony to officiate your new relationship; while part of you felt guilty for leaving your fans out of your life, both of you had discussed how you simply did not feel like receiving all the exhausting backlash that came with such announcements. "Didn't he just propose? That marriage isn't going to last." "Isn't she younger than him? She has no idea what she's doing yet, she won't want to be tied down for long." "Is he even ready for a stable relationship? He seems like he's always working on some project or the other."

However, now that it had been four months of marriage and things were sailing smoothly, the two of you had discussed before today's BuzzFeed interview that you'd finally be willing to break the news-- along with some other very important information. It would end up being a personal interview, that was for sure, but you were actually excited for the big reveal. As the recently awarded Model of the Year, you loved and appreciated your fans, and you wanted them to know about your life-- you knew you could not let the negative comments get to you, considering they were not about to end anytime soon given you and your husbands' careers, and it was about time to suck it up and face the music. Besides, you knew you had several respectful and loving fans who would support you and your relationship, and so you would make sure to focus on that.

You squealed in delight as the crew released a small horde of puppies towards you; when BuzzFeed had contacted you and Chris asking if you wanted to do the “play with puppies” interview, the two of you did not even hesitate. You both loved dogs far more than you loved humans (hell, maybe more than you loved each other) and so this was more than fun for you guys. Chris’ had a huge smile on his face as the puppies ran towards him, his mouth open wide in delight. “Hello, little guys!! Look at you-- oh, God, look at you-- babe, are you seeing this, they’re so fuckin’ cute.” He blinked and suddenly looked to the cameras, laughing, “I’m not allowed to swear, am I? Oh, you’ll beep it out? Okay, nice.” You sighed and rolled your eyes fondly towards the camera at your husband’s potty mouth, but you’d be lying if you said you didn't find his swearing attractive. Picking up a puppy to snuggle on your lap, you smiled up at Chris cutely. “Kinda makes ya want another one, doesn’t it…?” you said innocently, even holding it up to make Chris look it in the eyes. He laughed and playfully covered his eyes, shaking his head. “Don’t do this to me!! You know puppies are my weakness!”

You were happy to be on a set where you could act so naturally with your husband; you tried to do that as much as possible in general, but it was difficult for some shows that had more strict rules. The interviewer and crew were laughing as they watched the two of you fool around for a bit before finally starting to ask questions.

“So you two are officially living together, aren’t you? How has that been?”

“Amazing.” Chris instantly replied, a grin crossing his lips as he glances at you, simultaneously stroking the puppies clambering onto his lap. “It was a really smooth transition, honestly. She moved into my place, and she was already spending a lot of nights anyways, so it wasn’t too different ya know?”

You smiled and nodded, looking back on the past few months of living with Chris. “We’re both pretty independent people, so we know when to give each other space, but we also know when to come together and have time for just us, too. No phones, not even TV, just talking and catching up-- and of course showering our dog Dodger with love,” you said with a giggle, thrilled to simply be able to call Dodger yours too.

“So you two are able to balance your busy schedules and making sure to have some date nights, too? I imagine it would be difficult, what with Chris having so many upcoming projects and you doing photoshoots practically every other week!”

“It’s definitely hard sometimes,” you pondered thoughtfully, “but we learned early on that communication is the most important. Sometimes you have to accept that one person might be busy, even for months on end if it's a big project-- but as long as we let each other know beforehand, we’re understanding.”

“She’s the most understanding girl I could ask for,” Chris piped in, a smile on his face. “We’re just always on the same page, I swear. And if we’re not, it’s so easy to talk it out, there’s no pressure or tension. I’m incredibly grateful for her.” You swore you were about to tear up from hearing his touching words, and you knew there was blush on your cheeks; you giggled as you look to the camera, biting on your lip clearly happy, laughing as the crew starts to coo in support. “He’s alright I guess,” you playfully added on nonetheless, casually shrugging your shoulders and earning an “offended” scoff from the male, though the twinkle in his eyes is undeniably there.

The interview continued and the puppies were as playful as ever, making you and Chris laugh with their adorable antics and persistent kisses. The two of you answered relationship questions, career questions, lifestyle questions; the interviewer seemed to be wrapping things up, and then came the question you guys had been waiting for.

“So, Chris, fans are dying to know-- when are you two finally going to get married?” she inquired with a playfully sly smile, and he glanced at you with a little grin. You matched his expression, looking at him for a few moments keeping up the suspense; even the camera crew looked interested now, leaning slightly forward as they looked at you guys suspiciously. He finally looked back to the camera, cradling a sleeping puppy tenderly in his muscular arm. “Well… don’t hate us, but my beautiful fiancée and I actually decided to become husband and wife a few months ago…”

The reactions practically overtook the studio-- loud gasps, squeals, cheers, applause-- the two of you couldn’t help but laugh as you looked around, simultaneously getting attacked by overexcited puppies who were now completely alert and hyped up from the noise. “Okay, okay!” Chris laughed loudly as one practically climbed up him to cover his face in kisses, holding him up in the air keeping him at a safe distance. “I love you too, little guy!”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you spoke over the noise, giggling excitedly as you glanced at Chris briefly before looking to the camera. “We may also have a new member of the Evans family coming along, and while I’d love for it to be one of these adorable little guys, it’s someone else…” Chris grins as he leans over, gently touching your belly, his eyes full of love as he looks up at you before looking to the camera wiggling eyebrows. “So I hope you guys understand why my beautiful wife will be taking a little hiatus from her modeling career pretty soon-- nothing but rest and relaxation for my baby mama,” he said with a playful grin, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheek. You giggle as more puppies scramble upwards to try and get in on the kissing action, holding one as you lean into Chris’ body. “We’re sorry we didn’t tell you all earlier, we just wanted some privacy with our relationship for a little bit while we were newly married,” you apologized, feeling like you owed it to the fans to explain why you had been hiding something so huge. “But now that you know,” Chris pitched in, grin still spread across his face, “expect an obnoxious amount of baby related tweets and photos, okay?”

The interviewer and crew clap again, cheering in delight. “Congratulations, guys! We can’t wait to see the newest Evans in a few months!” You laugh as Chris pulls you into a hug, then squeal as he playfully pulls you down backwards to lie on the floor, the two of you now being climbed all over by tiny puppy paws. “Thank you for watching, and thanks for having us, BuzzFeed!” you playfully call out from the floor, lifting your hand up to make a peace sign to the camera and slightly cough-laughing as a small paw presses against your throat; Chris laughs loudly along with you, the two of you practically forgetting that you were at an interview as you play and roll around with the pups, completely happy and very much in love.

#chris evans imagine #chris evans #chris evans fluff #fluff #chris evans fic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you

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theladyofspaceandtime · 4 years ago

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The Trials and Tribulations of Love - Chapter 2: The Things One Does for Love

AUTHOR’S NOTE on Feb 5th, 2021:

I decided to post another chapter on here. When I first started writing this, the earlier chapters were a bit shorter not only cause they were starting up the story, but because I had just gotten back into writing after a 3-4 year hiatus on writing due to bad writers block. However, later chapters start to get a lot longer and have more meat to them since I was back in the groove of writing. Thanks for sticking with me.

You can always check out more about my story and the characters on @katherineofknighton which is the blog for the story.

DETAILS ABOUT THE STORY: Guy of Gisborne is after her because she is the former sheriff’s daughter, and Katherine of Knighton is giving him the time of day at her sister’s request. They didn’t expect to develop genuine feelings for each other, but they have. How will this affect Katherine’s relationship with her sister and Marian's relationship with Robin Hood?Follows Seasons 1,2 & 3 with twists before going Canon Divergent.

Pairing: Guy of Gisborne/Original Female Character & Robin Hood/Marian of Knighton

CHAPTERS: One || Three || Four

Word Count: 1,792

CHAPTER 2 - Things One Does for Love

KNIGHTON HALL

Robin had become an outlaw after choosing to free the prisoners and declared going against the Sheriff. Katherine could tell Marian wasn’t taking it well, not happy with him choosing this kind of life both out of worry for him and for the fact it would be harder for them to be together.

And what made it worse? Robin had ended up getting captured by the sheriff in no time flat not a day after his escape. “ He really is an idiot.” Katherine thought to herself.

Even with Much coming here to ask them for help in freeing Robin, the family could do nothing for him. “He should have listened to our father. What did Robin think was going to happen going against the sheriff?” she barked at him.

Much looked down. “I know my ladyship.”

“Now he is an outlaw.” Marian said, rolling her eyes. “And not a very impressive one.”

“That is-” Much yelled, before the sisters gave him a look. “Forgive me. That- That is not fair. He is most impressive.”

Katherine had to hold back a chuckle. “He is caught after just one day. Am I supposed to be impressed?”

Much narrowed his eyes at her. “He gave himself up to save tongues.”

“Tongues?” Marian questioned.

“In Locksley. The sheriff was cutting out people’s tongues until somebody told him where Robin was.” Edward, Marian and Katherine exchanged looks with each other. “I hate the sheriff.” He stood up, looking them dead in the eye. “And I hate you if you aren’t going to help Robin.”

Edward rose from his chair, causing Much to stop at the door. “Young man. I will speak in court of course, but your master has doomed himself. Resign yourself.”

Much paused before turning to look at them deeply, looking specifically at Marian. “In the Holy Lands, my master had dreams. He spoke your name.”

Edward turned to look at her as Katherine looked down, feeling terrible. It seemed Robin cared for her sister as much as she did for him. There must be something she could do for them. Something that wouldn’t involve her getting caught and having her family suffer the consequences.

“Good night.” Much said, leaving the family to think about what they were doing.

Later on that same night, the sister’s were greeted by the unexpected company from Guy of Gisborne of all people. They feared that maybe they had been spotted with Much here.

A servant poured him a glass as Marian asked. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your company, Sir Guy?”

“I wish to speak with your sister.” He replied awkwardly.

Marian looked to Katherine who gave her a nod, indicating she would be okay alone. She went to give the two of them some privacy.

When she did, Guy’s blue eyes landed on Katherine, an intense and intimidating look in his eye. Katherine had to keep herself from shuddering when they made eye contact, but she was surprised to find him quickly averting his eyes from hers. “I would be pleased if you would come and visit me at Locksley, now that it is mine.”

“I would be honored.” She smiled, rather surprised he had come all this way to see her and request such a thing. They were only starting to get to know each other.

Setting down his cup on the fireplace mantle, he continued. “I have ambitions which are greater of course, you know that. But now, to have land once more in Gisborne name, my father would be proud.”

Katherine smiled at him, pushing back her brown hair. “I am glad to hear that, Sir Guy.” She was wondering where he was getting at with this.

“Some of my men, I know this for a fact used to laugh at my title: Guy of Gisborne when there was no Gisborne.”

Katherine raised an eyebrow. “Are you turning Locksley into Gisborne?”

“Yes, actually.” He paused, his blue eyes looking at her intensely once again. “I am intent on changing its name.”

“If you think it will make a difference. ” She replied, not too worried about it. Besides, he would do what he wanted anyway and obviously he was determined to do so.

He began walking towards her, getting close, which sent shivers down her back. “When a woman marries, she changes her name. It makes a difference.”

“You do know you might run into trouble with Robin.” Katherine said, turning to finally face him. “He will surely fight you on such a change.”

“He will die.”

“If he is found guilty by law.”

Guy gave a brief smirk. “There is no trial, he will hang in the morning.”

As Guy turned away from her, Katherine’s eyes briefly went wide with worry, knowing Marian wouldn’t like that news at all. And despite not liking Robin, she didn’t think he deserved to be killed for what he was doing. Even if it was going against the law. He was doing it for a noble cause in his own way.

“But what about the law? There must be a trial.”

“Yes, but he is an OUTLAW.” Guy spat back. “You see, in these times the sheriff has made special provision. Outlaw’s are classed as enemies of war thus we can hold them without trial and execute them without trial.”

Katherine looked down sadly, taking in his words. There was nothing that could be done. Guy noticed the frightened look in her eyes and went to reach out towards her until Edward came into the room. “I’m sorry, I was not expecting you.” Marian followed behind him, more than likely letting him know of his arrival.

Guy quickly stopped, breaking eye contact with her and looking down. “Father, Marian.” Katherine cleared her throat before speaking. “Sir Guy and I were just talking.”

“I best be off. I hope to see you again.” He bowed his head and left the house.

“It seems he is starting to take a liking to you.” Marian pointed out, causing Katherine to blush.

“We’ve only just got acquainted with one another. Don’t think too much about it.” she retorted at her before giving a sympathetic look. She knew what she would have to say next would bother her sister, but she needed to know. “Robin’s in trouble.”

____________________________________________________

NOTTINGHAM CASTLE

Marian went to the castle to visit Robin and help rescue him before he was executed the next day. She spoke with him in private as the jailer left them alone at her request.

“You are an utter fool.” quipped Marian, glaring at Robin.

He sighed. “You said that already.”

“Oh, you listened? I also told you confronting the sheriff wouldn’t work, you didn’t listen to that.”

“I didn’t have much choice.”

Marian shook her head. “Oh, everything is a choice. Everything we do. Grow up.” she looked him up and down, judgingly.

“I prevented unjust hangings.” Robin stated, getting close to her. “I protected people from my village.”

“Oh, that will make your death romantic.”

Robin sighed, rolling his eyes. “It would make it honorable.”

“Honorable? And what about the people you are so honorably protecting? Who will protect them when you’re dead?” This caused Robin to stop and think about what he was doing. Marian scoffed. “Uh, what is it with men and glory? Glory above sense and above reason.”

Robin smiled at her. “It is principle.”

“Principle is making a difference and you can’t do that if you’re dead. You could have stayed here in the first place instead of following your king to the Holy Lands if you cared so much about your precious people.” Her voice began to crack slightly, showing her true emotions underneath. The emotions which were hurt by his leaving. “But you didn’t. You chose war. You chose glory.”

His face leaned in towards hers, giving her a deep and thoughtful look with a smile. “What is this about?”

Marian couldn’t look him in the eyes, too overcome by her own emotions. “It is about you saying that you care about the people of Locksley when the truth is, you ran off to battle thousands of miles away.”

He was moved to see she still cared about him as deeply as he cared about her, reaching out a hand to touch her cheek and comfort her, but Marian hesitated to give in before pushing his hand away. She was still mad at him for leaving her behind.

“You had something on your cheek.”

Marian composed herself again, turning to reach for the device she had brought with her hidden in a coin purse. “Right, this is what we do: Stand by the door, I’ll scream and in he comes. You strike him and run. I paid a man by the east gate. You’ll not be seen if you leave now before daywatch. Take these.”

“I can’t go unseen.” Robin stated.

“Well, you cannot go seen.”

“I cannot let the sheriff win!”

“Have you not heard a single word I’ve said?” Marian exclaimed.

Robin sighed. “Trust me, I have a plan.” He shrugged his shoulders at the look she gave him. “Well, half a plan.” Marian shook her head as he grinned. “I love it when you look at me in anger.”

Frustrated with him, she slapped the device into his hands, gritting her teeth. Suddenly, the door began to open as Robin quickly pivoted towards the door. They looked to see the jailer coming in before being knocked over the head.

It was Much. “This is a rescue!” He grinned. “And we are undetected.”

As if on cue, the guards began to yell about the group of outlaws running about the castle. Marian played her part helping them escape as she helped the guards with the knocked out jailer.

Katherine joined up with Marian looking around from a pillar as they watched the scene unfolded with Robin Hood and his merry men. She almost had to keep herself from bursting out with laughter at the sheriff’s uncharacteristic display, more than likely because Robin had an arrow pointed at him.

The sisters watched as the sheriff yelled for the guards to capture him. Robin glided off one of the towers and Katherine rolled her eyes.

Marian watched quietly, a smile on her face.

Once the men had cleared the gate and Robin started to close it before rolling under it and escaping, he stood up and looked to Marian, sending her a kiss. She was taken back by the action, blue eyes wide in surprise.

Katherine on the other hand rolled her eyes, seeing that smug smile on his face as he ran away with his men. “What a show-off.” She exclaimed. Both sisters turned away, giving him an annoyed look.

#bbc Robin Hood fanfiction #The trials and tribulations of love #my fanfiction

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phoebeusproduction · 4 years ago

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I just read through all your ygo stories on AO3 in basically a day and a half straight, and I am enchanted. I haven’t read the current WIP yet because I think it might be too sad for me, but I read everything else. You are such an incredible writer and I love the bonds between them ❤️❤️❤️ I wanted to share a story idea I’ve had for a while and never been able to write, which I think you would write beautifully if you chose to :) The basic premise is, after the finale, (continued)

somehow Atem stays, how isn’t important. And Atem and Yugi have been through so much together, know each other’s hearts and minds and souls so intimately. Then *something* happens, and Yugi ends up in the past, in ancient Egypt, brought before Atem (because he magically appeared or was trespassing in the palace cause he showed up there? Idk) and Yugi is obviously confused but he’s so relieved when he sees Atem. And he calls him by name, which is more familiarity than he should have with him, and it becomes very obvious that he thinks he knows him. And in some ways he does, because in his soul Atem is the same person, but obviously with different memories and the expectations of being Pharaoh, he’s more severe and guarded than the Atem that Yugi is used to. And somehow Yugi has to convince Atem that he really does know him in the future and that he needs help getting back. And before, I’m thinking Yugi and Atem both knew that had feelings for each other, but hadn’t really had a chance to act on it. Atem having his own body is still new to them. Yugi already loves Atem, and past Pharoah Atem falls in love with Yugi himself. And when Atem sacrifices himself to stop Zorc, that’s what sends Yugi back to the future, and it also gives Atem back his memories (so this actually happened back then, it wasn’t a memory world or anything). And so Atem remembers falling for him twice. Idk it’s just an idea that’s been rolling around in my brain so I thought I would share :) I subscribed to you on AO3 and I’m looking forward to whatever you write next :)

-~-~-~-~-~-

Hey~ Thank you, Anon! Wow, that is literally a lot of skill there on the reading, there's a few hundred thousand words in those stories at this point! It's so 😊 that you were pulled in like that! And thank you! And I totally get the love of the 'Yuugi gets sent back in time to meet Atem' scenario, that's been one of my favs in fanfiction for years. I probably wouldn't touch writing it myself since that WIP of mine is basically a dramatic deconstruction of that scenario where present Yuugi doesn't meet past Atem but the results are oddly similar, so it'd probably be too much of the same thing for me to do the straightforward take. Plus I tend to write to fill in blanks I think are missing (at least with my longer works) and while I have some theme reservations with it, TechnicolorNina's Written in the Stars already handled that general idea really amazingly, so if you want a 'Yuugi is tossed back in time and Atem goes from cold to smitten for him' story, that is just *chef's kiss*. And I bet there are other stories like this out there, so if any readers seeing this know of a complete 'Yuugi sent back to Pharaoh Atem' story? Could you drop a rec for the anon? Please and thank you!

And of course, if anyone’s response to Written in the Stars or any other recs is ‘that isn’t really what I wanted’, then... >x> Other writers??? Anyone want a bunny?

But yes, this did remind me that I have been itching to take some requests soon, for shorter things and just general genre/focus preferences from the readers for the sake of sheer interaction during my story hiatus. I always find the ‘prompt months’ and stuff too demanding with the quick turn around, BUT I might be doing a ‘do 50,000 words of ANYTHING’ thing for November again, where the goal is the activity not one project, so perhaps I’ll put out some sort of request thing with a goal of writing in November and posting in December. >x>

But that is sort of an aside, so back to the point: Anon, that is a seriously good idea and you have the best taste.

And again, thank you. ❤️

#anon reply

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bomberlandia · 4 years ago

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Burning Questions: Return to play, 2020 expectations, Heppell, Hooker back, BZT, Cutler’s intrigue and more

Dyson Heppell is back. Cale Hooker is back too. And Joe Daniher is trending in the right direction for the first time in years. Football is back.

The coronavirus pandemic has halted every sport in its tracks. The NBA is still yet to resume and still hasn’t figured out a safe method of finishing its year. Major League Baseball hasn’t worked out if or when it’ll start its season. And the NHL are fine tuning a path to return to play but nothing is final yet. These are just a few leagues to name, but every sport league has stopped. And every league is now trying to figure out how to come back safely. There’s no blueprint either. It’s one messy, minefield.

If there is a silver living here for the AFL, it’s that, any club who had long-term injuries, or newly sustained pre-season concerns over players have been given the lifeline of 83 days to help prepare, heal and get right before Round Two. For the Bombers, this period has been favourable. Hooker and Heppell had short-term injuries that would have seen them miss multiple weeks — in Heppell’s case, he would have missed at least half the season. Same with Joe Daniher. But with the three-month hiatus Hooker and Heppell will play against Sydney. And Daniher is weeks away from playing so he should see a good chunk of the 2020 season.

But fit bodies are just that. There’s still a slew of unanswered questions that need addressing. Some will get answered this weekend. Others will take weeks to answer, if not, a year or two. After three consecutive years of 12 wins, 2020 was meant to be the year that the Bombers delivered better than that, moved up from mediocrity and won a final. But, the pandemic has added another layer of uncertainty around the Bombers. With that, here are some burning questions that will impinge the Bombers in 2020.

Can Devon Smith pick up where he left off before his PCL operation?

We will know soon enough when he takes on the Swans but from all reports the knee has never been better. “My knee’s been pulling up the best it has since I can remember, so I’m really excited about the season,” he told news.com.au. My only real concern for Smith, is can his knee stand up to the rigours of AFL intensity? He’s had a decent 12-month stint without AFL competition. And being a hard-at-it player, someone the Bombers need in trenches, we’ll only know just how good Smith’s knee is in the days and weeks to come.

But let’s go back to 2018 when Smith won the Crichton Medal. That was the year Watson, Stanton and Pop Kelly retired. Heath Hocking got delisted. The Bombers went 2-6 early in the season. Mark Neeld got the boot. Daniher got shutdown with a season-ending groin injury. And the midfield had some serious holes. But Smith stood up. He averaged 22 touches and 8.5 tackles — both career highs — and kicked 17.16. And if you remember, he carried the team during the big games. Against Collingwood in R16, he collected 31d, 8m and had 13 tackles in their 16p loss. Against Carlton on a wet MCG, he laid 15 tackles along with 21 touches. His pressure and hardness around the contest was made more obvious in a midfield that was lacking grunt. He filled that void.

The complications of COVID-19 has forced the AFL to make quarters 16-minutes long. That means Smith can go full-tilt for an entire game. There’s upside to that. But, to my earlier point, can his knee withstand that kind of onslaught in shorter, more intense sets? The Bombers missed Smith in 2019. His return will make opposition midfields more accountable. He’s another goal-kicking option. And his high tackle count (in 2018: 186) will cause turnover opportunities, something the good AFL teams do regularly.

Essendon haven’t won in Sydney since 2009. Can they break the drought?

It’s hard to definitively say the Bombers can win this one when there’s an existing 10+ year SCG drought to consider. But when you think about the 83 days between R1 and R2, both teams are operating on a clean slate. It’s like the start of the season take two. On paper the Bombers have a good balance for the small SCG ground: tall key defenders, small, quick and bullish forwards. They bring back their captain, Dyson Heppell. Hooker, Hurley and Francis should stand up against Heeney and the Swans’ potent forwards. That gives the Bombers a chance to steal this one.

There’s a growing concern over the Bombers forward line in 2020, with Joe Daniher still out, Fantasia missing. Will the Bombers struggle to kick goals?

For this week at the SCG those outs won’t matter. The Bombers should be able to cover Daniher and Fantasia through a core group of Smith, Stringer, Townsend, Tipungwuti. For the Bombers to go to that next level, adding Daniher and Fantasia is a must. The good news is that the Bombers have worked out other ways to kick goals. And it sounds like this year they are relying on midfielders and small forwards to do the damage on the scoreboard. But if Daniher and Fantasia do come back soon, the Bombers will have their strongest forward set up since the 2000 Premiership: Stringer, Townsend, Fantasia, Joe Daniher, Tipungwuti, Smith. That’s not too shabby.

Dustin Fletcher is on the cusp of being inducted in the Hall of Fame but some are saying that he might have to wait a few years because of the 12-month ASADA ban. Should he have to wait?

If they decide Fletcher has to wait another year or two, because of the ASADA ban, in the grand scheme of things it’s not that big a deal. As long as he’s inducted. He’s a lock. Let’s not forget Fletcher had a decorated career with 400 games and two premierships. Let’s also remember he meets the criteria: record, ability, integrity, sportsmanship and character. No-one could argue against any of those things with any great certainty. Whether it’s now or years to come, it’s happening.

Of the players picked to play against the Swans for R2, who should we watch, and what should we look for?

Tom Cutler. I liked what I saw against Fremantle in R1 and how he moved between the backline and forward 50. His speed is impressive for his size considering he’s carrying a 192 cm frame. I think he’s going to be a match up headache every week. Andrew McGrath is another one to watch. This year will be his first year as a full-time midfielder, or at least that’s how the Bombers intend to use him. He keeps getting better, quicker, smarter. He has Cotchin attributes.

The most intriguing duo in the team right now are Townsend and Stringer. Two bulls. They really need to impose themselves against the Swans on a small SCG where spacing is tight. Both have the ability to kick three to five goals each on any given week. In the absence of Daniher they’re going to have to seize on every opportunity.

Do you think the 16-minute quarters will work in Essendon’s favour?

What I think this means for the Bombers is that they can leave their best mix of players on the ground longer without breaks. And there shouldn’t be any issues with not being able to run out games. Also: with the speed the Bombers have on their team — Fantasia, Saad, McKenna, Tipungwuti — the shorter quarters gives them breaks just in time when they might be gassed. Worsfold will still have to think about rotations.

Townsend is playing his 50th game this week. What did you make of his game against Fremantle?

He kicked three goals from nine kicks against Fremantle. It was impressive. He looked dangerous in that game each time the ball came near him. His hard-nut approach and big body will give the Bombers flexibility to play him forward with stints inside the midfield. I can’t wait to watch more of Townsend this year. He’s my new favourite player and he’s only played one game.

There will be no crowds at some games for the foreseeable future. How will this impact the Bombers?

After this week, the Bombers are in Melbourne against the Demons, Blues, Pies. It’s not really an issue yet. For most teams playing away, no crowds should neutralize the home advantage. Without the parochial and constant barracking it’s going to create more parity.

What’s up with Zerk-Thatcher breaking the rules around coronavirus?

He’s young. He’s 21. There were 16 Adelaide players who broke the rules too and didn’t get punished. There will be more young players who break the rules around coronavirus moving forward. It’s unfortunate. But he owned it. Zerk-Thatcher is a player that the Bombers need to get more games into and develop him as a replacement for Hurley or Hooker. He’s fine. Everything is fine.

The Bombers still haven’t won a final since 2004 and they’ve won 12 games in three consecutive years. What should Bomber fans expect from here, in a pandemic year?

With a clean bill of health the Bombers should be setting themselves up to win their first final in 16 years. Since 2009 their finals record has been putrid. They have scraped through to the finals five times for a 0-5 record and boast an average losing margin of 59.2. The worst defeat of that lot was in 2009 against the Crows to the tune of 96. It’s hard to predict what will happen in a pandemic year, where life is changing every day. So expect good weeks and bad weeks. I would say for this year, watch how the Bombers transition, how they defend, how the midfield holds up against intense pressure. Those are the areas they need to improve in.

Justin Robertson is a journalist who writes AFL + NBA features for publications including The Guardian, ESPN, Bleacher Report, VICE and Complex Magazine. You can follow him on Twitter @justinjourno

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